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As I was ruminating the ways of women, I had an epiphany on why they seem so confusing to men who are especially logical.

Men who are rigorously logical have an inclination to pursue careers in engineering, coding, or some sort of field that relies on numerical intelligence.

I spent a few months at one point training to go into the coding field. I found that my numerical intelligence was not high enough to solve the problems in an efficient manner. I actually found it rather distressing. So I decided to drop that pursuit and stick with what I’m good at (psychology and words.)

Point is, I can respect the guys that do that kind of work. These guys are no dummies.

But, stereotypically, the engineer/coder type has a hard time “getting” women.

I’ve wondered why that is.

Why doesn’t one type of intelligence transfer over to figuring out women?

Then it hit me:

Based on my limited experience with coding, I realized that the way engineers solve problems goes something like this:

  1. Recognize an error
  2. Find what’s causing the error
  3. Fix the cause of the error

Each problem has a fresh cause. Hence the need for high intelligence. You have to figure out from just a small clue what the root cause might be.

Since this approach is logical, it would make sense to apply this to women:

  1. She’s upset
  2. Find out what’s bothering her
  3. Change what was bothering her

Problem is, that doesn’t work with women. In fact, it tends to make things worse.

Women are a completely different “system.” It’s almost the opposite with women:

Rather than having an infinite range of possible causes, there are only a few causes that cause an infinite range of symptoms.

In other words, you don’t to be terribly smart to figure out women. You just have to guess the root cause from a small list of possibilities.

But if you’re too smart, it could backfire on you. You think the cause is something more complicated than it is.

For the most part, all of a woman’s frustrations and anxieties are rooted in at least one of the following:

  • Looking uglier than her friends
  • Being fatter than her friends
  • Losing her attractiveness as she ages
  • Losing her man (or not getting a man if she’s single)
  • Harming her children
  • Being shamed by other women (especially other moms)

And, depending on her background, she may also have some of the these fears:

  • Fear of being poor
  • Fear of being sick
  • Fear of going to hell

You don’t need to solve each problem. Just play multiple choice and take a stab at what the underlying issue is.

Case in point:

Just tonight I accidentally dropped my wife while we were swing dancing. Naturally, she was upset. I assumed she was mad at me. But after talking about it, it turns out she mostly worried that she fell ungracefully like a fat girl. I assured her that she didn’t look fat when she fell and actually handled it rather gracefully. Then we moved on with our evening.

Hopefully this will help some of you gents out.