It occurred to me while reading about the “Competitive Advantage Paradigm” that much of what applies to business markets also applies to sexual markets. There’s a reason it’s called the sexual marketplace.
I may develop this idea further in the future, but here are my notes on the topic so far:
- A man’s fundamental sexual asset is his genes, or his “seed.”. A man may have some genetic advantages and some genetic disadvantages. If women are considered the “market” there are different segments of that market. Each market segment has different displays of good genes that they value and seek out (e.g. athletic ability, creativity, street smarts, mechanical ability, etc.). A man has an advantage in those few areas where he can find an intersection of a genetic advantage and a group of women that value a display of that advantage.
- There are two sources of sexual competitive advantage a man can secure – (1) lowering his standards and courting a woman who does not normally receive attention from men, or (2) giving such a superior display of good genes that he outshines all other men in that segment of the market.
- Both forms of competitive advantage depend on the woman perceiving that the man is the “best she can get.”
- A man’s sexual advantage is relative to his competition in a specific niche. To use an analogy, it’s better to be a fish twice as big as all the other fish in a small pond than to be a bigger fish competing with other big fish in a larger pond.
- The ideal positioning for a man is to be the obvious alpha male (relatively speaking) in a group where the gap between women and eligible men is rapidly increasing (i.e. many women to one man).
- A man should avoid seeking mates in any arena where he doesn’t have a clear competitive advantage.
- Being the alpha male of a group becomes a competitive advantage in itself due to social proof. If a competitor wishes to displace the alpha, he must be offer something significantly superior to the current alpha’s offering. Being marginally better is not enough.
- For every lower “point” a man is willing to accept in the beauty scale, he increases his options a hundredfold. For example, when a man decides he is willing to mate with women he judges to be “7”s instead of just “8”s or “9”s, he immediately has more options.
- Being the alpha male in your niche is the only secure long-term advantage.
- But no position is ever entirely secure. New leaders can replace old leaders.
- Being the only alpha in your niche has a “network effect”. If a man’s objective sexual marketplace value is twice as high as his closest competitor, he will be subjectively be perceived to be more than twice as attractive by the women of the group. This attraction of other women serves to elevate his perceived value, which in turn attracts even more women. He will be perceived as “the king” by all the women of the group. By contrast, if a man has a close competitor, both men will be assessed by more practical and “objective” standards.
- A man will do best if he only (visibly) operates in activities where he has a large competitive advantage. All other activities which do not align to a man’s signature strengths should be ignored, outsourced to other men, performed with humor, or performed away from the presence of women.
The advantage of such a paradigm is obvious to single men looking to secure a woman. But there is also an advantage to men in a monogamous marriage: her attraction to you is still based on feeling like she’s the “lucky one.” She needs to see that you are clearly the best man within a particular niche.