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Hello everyone. I’m still alive. And I’m still on my hiatus.

I have a final difficult push to get my “financial freedom” business off the ground. So I need total focus. This is probably the closest thing a man can experience to giving birth to a baby (thankfully.)

Anyhow, I’m taking a break this evening and I’ve had some thoughts that have been percolating through the murky recesses of my subconscious that I wanted to make note of here.

Namely, there was a problem I had been thinking about but never quite reached a conclusion:

What is the real problem with pornography?

(You can find my earlier posts on this topic somewhere in the archives. I’m too lazy to link to them right now.)

On the one hand, I think it’s clear that the church misdiagnosis the problem and uses it as a tool to guilt-manipulate sex-starved men. I’ve written about this earlier so I won’t go into details here.

But, I’m not going to come out and say “pornography is just fine and dandy. Go hog-wild boys!” Intuitively, I know there’s something wrong with it.

But what?

An idea was triggered when I read an email today from A.J.A. Cortes (who I highly recommend following… even if you don’t normally subscribe to email lists).

The title of the email was “We covet what we see, and what you covet is not Real.” It was a lengthy email, but here are a few excerpts [emphasis mine]:

I grew up in the 1990s, before social media took over. When I was growing up, the hottest girl you knew was whoever was the hottest girl in your class/grade/school was.

Maybe you lusted after a female celebrity, but your beauty norms were shaped by who you saw in person.

Obviously that has changed. We all posses the means now to view an infinite number of hot bodies on our smart phones. The commodification of beauty and the body has spawned a massive, massive industry.

Beauty has always been prized, beauty and glamor are persuasive, that is beyond question.

That said, when you are so inundated with beauty, glamor, appearance, you lose your perceptual underpinnings of what is REAL, and what is artificial.

He then addresses the incel/beta problem:

[The incel movement is] representative of a world in which a generation of damaged men have been raised indoctrinated by femininity, pushed into false vulnerability, made subservient to their feelings, and as a result they are truly beta, and helpless with women. Add in being skinny fat, being made to feel guilty for being a man, and raised to put women on a pedestal, and you’ll end up with some truly deranged individuals (its not accident that around 90% of school shooters are all raised by single mothers)

Modern femininity has cruelly and ironically created the very thing it set out to destroy; men that hate women, and don’t understand them (A woman can never raise a Man to be a Man)

I WOULD call that toxic masculinity.

Its delusional
Its dehumanizing

And its made worse by young men scrolling through 10,000 IG skanqs. It traps their maturity into being perpetual betas looking at fake bodies, and probably pornography as well

The problem is not that men like to look at nude women. People have been depicting and looking at artful depictions naked women for a looooong time. (Yet the Scriptures are mysteriously silent on this “sin.”)

The problem is overexposure to glamour.

I define art as taking something ordinary and making it extraordinary. Art highlights the beauty or emotional power of an object or experience by re-framing it in a way that makes it seem new again.

Or, to bring it closer to home:

The first glamorous image of a naked woman you saw was thrilling. The 1,000th image you saw was “normal.”

The first time you watched sex from a third person perspective was intriguing. The 1,000th time you’re just trying to find a video with enough novelty to get excited enough to cum.

The problem with pornography is that it doesn’t offer any new perspectives on the beauty of sex or women. It only normalizes what was once (perhaps) an intriguing frame. Glamour becomes the expectation rather than the rare delight.

Even “Perfect 10s” don’t look as glamorous moment-to-moment as they do in their one-in-a-thousand perfect photographs.

As Cortes has pointed out, glamour has become a commodity. It’s no longer special.

So what’s the solution?

Well, here’s how NOT to solve the problem.

Don’t go around vilifying men for looking at porn. Let’s not be naive about this: porn exists in such abundance because it’s fulfilling an unmet need.

Men (and women) are hardwired to seek out the mystery that is sex.

I don’t think it takes a genius to figure out that if appreciation for truly artistic expressions of sex, such as the Song of Solomon, are not cultivated, then people will settle for the next best thing.

People will continue to consume tasteless porn for the same reason people continue to consume junk food: they are unaware of how sick they are; they just know they need to continue eating something. And they’re probably just too damn lazy to do anything about it on their own.

Of course, to make this analogy fitting for the present-day religious climate, you’d have to say it’s like telling people that eating is bad by pointing out the poor nutritional content of their diet. Then you ban all production of nutritious food and tell people if they don’t get over their “hunger problem” that they’ll be justly burned in hell forever. Then, as a solution, you offer a path of grace that says you’ll be forgiven for being hungry and eating such terrible food. But you really should stop eating… as evidence that you’re truly forgiven.

Yeah, whatever.

Peace out for now.