I have enough experience working in media to know that a story like Kanye West taking over the PornHub awards is not just some random event of interest.
The people who write the articles do not have time to do their own research. Somebody always feeds them the story.
And people don’t feed the media stories unless it serves an agenda.
My best guess is this was a political move by Kanye in preparation for his future run for president.
What is telling is that Kanye judged hosting awards for a pornography site to be a worthwhile activity to fit into his busy schedule.
Kanye West is no dummy. He recognizes what few are afraid to openly acknowledge: that the pornography industry is a major influence on culture and worldview.
Porn reaches people precisely at the moment when they are most receptive to suggestions: acutely aware of a problem (e.g. unfulfilled sex drive) and indulging in a fantasy where that problem doesn’t exist.
Add to that equation the mind-altering effects of masturbation, and porn is probably the most powerful propaganda tool in existence.
This is why most porn is not designed as art. It doesn’t help you appreciate sex. It is designed to get lonely men to jerk off so they can become more receptive to ideas like:
- You don’t deserve to have sex with a woman unless you have a 8″ cock
- Blacks are a superior race that deserve to breed with white women
- Letting a better man have sex with your wife is a good idea
- You can never perform as well as these alpha studs, so just let the pros do it while you watch
- All women that want sex are out of your league so you might as well just watch from a safe distance
The net effect of these suggestions is that men feel inadequate to satisfy a woman and therefore resort to passive voyeurism.
This is the state in which a man is most politically useful to the elites. Docile. Powerless. Ready to yield his family to stronger men.
Introverted intuition is a function that is often described as hard to explain, due to its highly inward and intangible nature. The introverted intuition type has the ability to ‘thread’ multiple sources of phenomena into a certain view or vision. This is contrary to its opposite, extraverted sensation, which sees things as they comes and in a very concrete manner. The lack of this extraverted sensation can often make the Ni type a very dogged character, ignoring what is apparent and focusing on their synthesised worldview.
My wife is primarily extroverted sensing. I’m introverted intuition.
I’m so future-focused that I typically have little concern for what I perceive to be small speed bumps on the way to a larger vision.
My wife lives in the moment. What’s happening now?
I’m rarely able to explain to her what I’m doing or why I’m doing it. My thought process synthesizes multiple ideas and is evolving on a daily basis.
On the surface, I appear like I’m constantly changing my mind or perhaps have no idea what I’m doing. But inside my head, my goals and strategies are clear.
The challenge for me is remembering to show my wife tangible resources and tools to solve immediate needs. Even if I think the problems are superfluous, taking time to alleviate her fears is important.
During my “blue pill” days, I used to apologize a lot for my lack of results, get frustrated, and even give into self-pity. That’s also about the time we started having some serious marriage problems.
Nowadays, I just repeatedly tell her that I know what I’m doing and that my work will pay off soon. I listen to her share her concerns and acknowledge that they are justifiable feelings.
Like clockwork, I get a “shit test” about finances every month. And also like clockwork, she stops hassling me after about a 30 minute test.
Understanding both the nature of women and personality psychology is a helpful tool to having a peaceful marriage.
Today, I’d say that I’m a confident guy.
I scored a 99% for “assertiveness” on my personality test. Provided that I don’t die, I have no doubt that I will lead a successful life in one form or another.
I certainly have moments of fear or hesitation… particularly in live performance situations like talking in public or doing nature’s duty in the bedroom… but I never doubt my ability to ultimately overcome any challenge I face.
But I wasn’t someone who was naturally confident.
Throughout junior high and high school, I had zero confidence with girls. In fact, I hardly knew any girls. Because girls didn’t hang out in my social circle… because I didn’t really have a social circle.
I managed to make one Japanese friend in elementary school. But after a couple years of trying to tag along with the Japanese crowd in junior high, I realized they didn’t like having a greasy white boy contaminating their group.
In retrospect, my low social status at the time was obvious. I had poor hygiene and grooming habits. I also had the habit of making subtle but derisive remarks to people’s faces which tended to go unappreciated. As one girl summed it up after I made a rather rude comment to her: “Nobody likes you, know.”
I cleaned up my act quite a bit for high school and became more of a “nice guy” in hopes of doing better with the ladies. But we all know how well that works. I just got a bad case of oneitis, worked up the courage to ask her out, then got rejected. Like most modern guys, I was not trained in handling rejection so I spent a good couple years wallowing in self-pity.
I also had zero confidence in the money arena. I doubted that I could ever make any serious money. I felt sincerely grateful that someone allowed me to shovel alpaca shit for $6/hour. And I didn’t envision my career prospects getting much better.
However, in spite of my incompetence and complete lack of confidence in these two essential arenas of manhood, I had two assets that eventually triumphed over my inadequacies:
- A vision of what I wanted
- Confidence in my ability to learn
I wanted two things in life: a beautiful woman and wisdom. So I earnestly prayed for these two things.
And I did not judge my ability to learn based on my school performance (which was mediocre) but rather my ability to understand and apply what I read in books.
The written word is an amazing gift. It allows cowering orphaned boys to lift themselves up and become a man.
It was the written word that introduced me to entrepreneurship, sales, and marketing. I learned that with the right skills and perseverance, anyone can make money. We don’t have to live our lives with a poverty mindset or compete for low-wage jobs.
It was the written word that taught me the truth about women’s sexuality and how I could adjust my behavior to better align with reality.
Today, I have confidence that if there is a problem I have or something I don’t know, someone, somewhere, has figured it out and written it down… or at least the vital clue I need to figure it out myself.
My inner confidence came from the process of learning, not from my present performance or being “right.”
My learning process is simple:
- Research until I find something that looks like it might help me solve an interesting problem
- Skim the content until I have an epiphany
- Go on a walk and try to internalize the new insight. How does it fit or conflict with what I already know?
- Immediately update my mental models (i.e. worldview)
- Immediately make any necessary behavior changes
For me, the key to learning is the epiphany. If someone turns on a light, I don’t need to waste time examining the character of the person who turned the light on, asking what kind of light bulb he used, what mechanical motions he went through to turn on the light, or any other superfluous details.
I know when I’ve been exposed to the light because the light drives away the darkness. Likewise, the truth drives away confusion.
But we’re conditioned to believe that truth is difficult to grasp. That we’re not “qualified” to recognize truth. We’re told there are many complexities and contextual details that require special training to grasp.
So instead, we rely on teachers who do nothing but spread confusion and instill a sense of inadequacy in the student. We become like the silly women spoken of by the Apostle Paul:
…always learning and yet not at any time able to come into a realization of the truth. (2 Tim 3:7)
Yes, there are different degrees of intelligence. Some may need to spend longer processing a new idea before they “get it.” That’s fine.
But if you’ve been facing the same problem for years and haven’t found any real solutions from the “official” sources, then the problem is not you, it’s the teacher, the idea, the framework.
A man who can learn on his own has confidence. The man who relies on institutions to teach him will always doubt his ability.
Truth creates clarity. Falsehood creates confusion and guilt. Every man is fully capable of recognizing the difference.
You have a brain. You’re made in the image of God.
You don’t need other men to teach you. You just need someone to flick on the light switch so you can see.
I recently watched an eye-opening presentation by Rollo Tomassi. I’m adding this to my “things to teach my son” list.
You may have read some of Rollo’s writing on hypergamy and female hormone cycles, but he covers it in more depth here. It’s worth watching.
As I was watching this, it became apparent to me that women are not nearly as complicated as we’re led to believe. It’s just that the truth about women is suppressed and women are very different than men.
The big takeaway is this:
Women are cyclical and they have alternating cycles.
When we think of a man, we think of him in terms of his mission. What’s he trying to accomplish? Can he help me solve my problem? Can I help him solve his?
If you understand a man’s mission, you understand what he truly wants.
But if you try to handle a woman the same way as a man, it won’t work. Because what a woman truly wants is largely determined by her hormone cycles and sexual instincts (i.e. hypergamy.)
What she wants today won’t be the same thing she wants two weeks from now.
And she’ll get mad at you if you can’t figure this out.
But she’ll also get mad at you if you try to figure it out (i.e. studying the red pill.)
Confused yet? 🙂
Well, it’s not too complicated if you understand just one simple thing:
A woman’s biology was designed for making babies.
Even if she’s not consciously trying to make a baby now, her body is still rehearsing or reenacting that process of furthering the survival of her genetics.
It’s All About Survival…
Every month a woman goes through two major hormonal cycles: the follicular phase and the luteal phase. Each phase lasts two weeks.
The follicular phase is the “I need to get bred by a strong bull of a man” phase. She instinctively starts looking for masculine dominant traits that can provide her with a strong healthy baby during her brief few days of ovulation (the end of the follicular phase.)
Immediately after ovulation is the luteal phase. This is the “I need comfort and provision” phase. She might be pregnant now so she needs a man that’s going to stick around and take care of her.
So, to simplify:
Half the time, a woman wants a strong, dominant man… a survivor.
Half the time, a woman wants an understanding, comforting man… a provider.
So how can you tell what phase she’s in?
Other than directly tracking her period, here a few clues to pick up on:
If she’s nagging you and nitpicking over little things, she’s probably horny and frustrated that you’re not being more dominant.
If you just went from having great sex to wondering why she’s so worried all the sudden, she probably just ended her ovulation phase and is need of comfort.
If you have a hard time getting her in the mood, she’s probably in the comfort phase.
If she gets mad at you for messing up in the bedroom, she’s probably in the breeding phase and is frustrated by your lack of assertiveness.
If she’s getting emotional over random little things, she’s probably in the comfort phase.
If she’s dressed a little more provocative than usual, she’s asking to be bred.
If she’s really horny all the sudden and you don’t know why. Don’t ask questions. Just seize the moment!
So What’s a Man to Do With This?
Your optimal sexual strategy will depend on the hormonal phase your wife is in.
When she’s in the follicular phase, you’ll want to display your ability to survive and conquer. Practically speaking, this is when she’s going to be most attracted to the “Dark Triad” traits. I find Ivan Throne’s definitions most useful:
- Narcissism – absolute confidence in your future achievements
- Machiavellianism – the art of revealing (and concealing) your intentions
- Psychopathy – action without hesitation
In a sexual context, “narcissism” would mean having absolute confidence in your ability to satisfy a woman. (If you doubt your ability, you can learn.)
“Machiavellianism” would be the art of seduction. It won’t do you much good to just whip out your dick and tell your wife you’re ready to go. There’s a teasing process… concealing and revealing… all in the right timing.
“Psychopathy” would mean having no hesitation to take dominant action in the bedroom. A nice guy is afraid of getting too rough with a woman; he’s afraid of hurting or offending her… so he hesitates. A natural psychopath has no fear or pity so he breeds a woman like a raging bull. A trained “psychopath” can calculate risks ahead of time, ignore his fear, and take action without hesitation. (Disclaimer: don’t move too far out of her (or your) comfort zone at once. Just boldly push the edges.)
The Dark Triad Man is the man that women want to breed with. The Dark Triad Man is a survivor. He is a ruler. He can provide the quality seed that her body craves.
When She’s Not in the Mood…
When she’s in the luteal phase, the game changes.
It’s no longer about the primal “need for seed.” Now it’s about the relational and spiritual dimensions.
The rough and dominant breeding gives way to intimacy and comfort. The sexual act itself now becomes an act of comfort for her.
She kneels in the “shade” of your comforting “apple tree” to taste your fruit. You fill her up with your essence to remind her that she is yours. You remind her that the father of her children still has more to give her.
During this phase, her instincts revolve around comfort. So the sexual man must play according to this dynamic.
If she is anxious, comfort her with soft caresses.
If she is too comfortable to be aroused, create tension. Leave the house for awhile. Go work on a project. Make her wonder. Then give her validation in the bedroom.
A woman’s body instinctively knows that she needs the “alpha seed” in the next cycle. So a very light “dread game” will be effective in this phase. She may not feel horny, but her need for validation and comfort will drive her back to the bedroom. She doesn’t want to lose her man.
The difficult part for most men today is developing the alpha or “dark triad” traits. But without the alpha, the cycle is broken. There is no dance of dominance and comfort. There is only frustration and apologies. Or worse: cheating and lying.
But one of the most loving things a man can do for a woman today is to become hardened. Be more aggressive, less apologetic, less prone to pity. Even if your wife (and all of society) say otherwise.
If you need a good place to start, I recommend this:
Over the last year or so I’ve trying to cultivate the fine art of self-appreciating humor.
If self-depreciating is humorously putting yourself down, then self-appreciating humor is putting yourself up.
I think this is a valuable skill for the sexual man to have in his arsenal. When done right, women find it greatly attractive. But there’s not much teaching on how to do it. So I’d like to take a stab at explaining it.
I’ll start with an example:
Gary Halbert was a legend in the industry I work in (direct-response copywriting). He was also a master of ego-centric humor.
A man of his accomplishment has three options when talking about himself: he can either “play humble”, come across as a douchebag, or entertain his audience.
Here’s how he introduced himself while giving a speech at a marketing seminar:
“I’ve been in self-publishing since 1968. I have made so many millions of dollars that I have become a legend in my own mind. None of you should feel jealous about that. Because I have the same capacity for keeping my money as a pig has for solving geometry problems. I have a big earning capacity because I have to. I’m so stupid about money.”
Of course, a lot of it’s in the delivery. So to get the full effect, watch the video clip:
The humor allows him to signal his high status without offense. People laugh but the impression made on their minds is:
- He’s more accomplished than me
- He doesn’t need me to validate his ego
- He’s comfortable with his flaws
- He knows how to survive in the face of uncertainty
When you break it down, it’s easy to see why women want to submit to men who display these qualities. We are attracted to what we lack:
- Women rarely have notable accomplishments
- Women need constant validation
- Women constantly worry and try to hide their flaws
- Women have no idea how to survive without security
The key to pulling this off effectively is to bluntly state one of your alpha qualities and then joke about how bad you are at a beta quality.
Which do you think is more attractive to women?
“Don’t worry about it babe, I make so much money and I blow it on stupid shit I don’t need all the time. If I wasn’t a complete dumbass with finances, I’d probably be a millionaire.”
“Don’t worry about it babe, I have our money so well budgeted that we can retire 15 years earlier than the average American. I don’t take many risks, but I know how to manage what I’ve got!”
A Simple Formula for Bragging:
- State an alpha accomplishment or trait
- Exaggerate how good it feels to your ego
- Contrast it with how much you suck at a beta trait
Combine two or more of the above and you have an effective self-appreciating joke:
“I always relied on my good looks to get by in school so I never got used to working hard for others.”
“People ask me if it’s hard being the leader. Not for me. I love telling people what to do.”
“I have no idea how much money I make. All I know is somehow the money never runs out when I’m blowing my money on stupid shit.”
“Is it safe to have this much sex? I should know this. I am a doctor.”
“With hair this good at my age? You know I can’t go out in public, babe. I’m just not in the mood to fight off all those aggressive women.”
Your wife is not “doing you a favor” by having sex with you.
It is the field that needs to be plowed, not the other way around.
You CHOSE to invest your valuable time into this woman.
She needs you more than you need her.
There’s always another woman who would be glad to be yours.
Don’t waste your time with an uncooperative woman. There’s always something more productive to do.
You are the leader that will guide her to her desired destination: a beautiful and precious diamond… pulled from the ground that hid her, cleansed from the dirt that tainted her, and polished to glorious perfection.
Every woman needs a man to find her, cleanse her, and make her beautiful.
I got side tracked with this conundrum. An intellectual puzzle with important consequences.
I’m (seriously) inviting any reader with an interest to try to poke holes in my logic and assumptions.
The Song of Songs text, as we have received it, is largely nonsensical. Sure, there are random insights that can be gleaned by understanding the images. But (to my knowledge) no scholar has ever been able to demonstrate any obvious logical connection from one set of verses to the next.
So the question a layperson should be asking is “Why is the Song of Songs so damn confusing?”
The Case for a “Restored” Song of Songs Text:
- The Apostle Paul warned Timothy that, in later times, some would withdraw from the faith and forbid marriage (1 Tim 4)
- In order to effectively forbid marriage, it would be necessary to obscure the exuberant praise of erotic love found in the Song
- The church’s allegorical interpretation of the Song began as early as the 2nd century with Origen. (The Jews likewise adapted an allegorical interpretation probably much sooner than this.)
- The oldest complete set of Scriptures we have are copies of the Greek Septuagint from the 4th century A.D.
In short, the timeline looks like this:
1st century – warning of religious prudes to come
2nd century – Song of Songs is “spritualized”
4th century – latest complete copy of the Song of Songs
I find it highly unlikely that the confusion surrounding the Song is not a direct result of these demon-obsessed sociopaths that the Apostle Paul warned us about.
But we have no explicit evidence of this tampering. So we’re in the realm of probabilistic thinking and risk calculation.
So let’s give this a go…
What are the Odds?
What are the odds that a scholar (and a liberal one at that) could completely rearrange the Song of Songs text and have it make more logical sense the original?
Probably extremely unlikely.
Imagine trying to cut up a bunch of Shakespeare sonnets and trying to rearrange them to make better poetry.
Nevertheless, that is exactly what Dr. Paul Haupt did in 1902. Regardless of your feelings on the “artistic liberties” he took with the text, there’s no doubt that his version of the Song makes more logical sense than the version found in our Bibles.
Now, what’s the risk? What if Haupt is wrong?
Well, first off, we’re not dealing with revelation in this case. We’re dealing with wisdom.
In other words, the Song of Songs is not an direct oracle from God. Rather, it’s a series of poetic observations by a wise and godly man (men?).
And the standard for judging wisdom is not “what text is most accurate?” The question is “what works in the real world?”
To illustrate, let’s say I told you that Seneca once advised “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
If you try to argue that Seneca didn’t really say that or that those words aren’t accurate, then you’ve entirely missed the point.
But if you ponder the quote and see if it holds true to reality, then you’ve acquired wisdom.
So it is with the Song of Songs.
It doesn’t matter what order you read it in or even who wrote it. What matters is whether it communicates truth about sex. Does it cause you to think about sex in new and profound ways? If so, then it’s wisdom.
So, for all the reasons above, I think the most prudent course of action for the sexual man is to ignore the (mostly) nonsensical arrangement of the Song found in the Bible and use the more logical rearrangement of the text.
Hello everyone. I’m still alive. And I’m still on my hiatus.
I have a final difficult push to get my “financial freedom” business off the ground. So I need total focus. This is probably the closest thing a man can experience to giving birth to a baby (thankfully.)
Anyhow, I’m taking a break this evening and I’ve had some thoughts that have been percolating through the murky recesses of my subconscious that I wanted to make note of here.
Namely, there was a problem I had been thinking about but never quite reached a conclusion:
What is the real problem with pornography?
(You can find my earlier posts on this topic somewhere in the archives. I’m too lazy to link to them right now.)
On the one hand, I think it’s clear that the church misdiagnosis the problem and uses it as a tool to guilt-manipulate sex-starved men. I’ve written about this earlier so I won’t go into details here.
But, I’m not going to come out and say “pornography is just fine and dandy. Go hog-wild boys!” Intuitively, I know there’s something wrong with it.
An idea was triggered when I read an email today from A.J.A. Cortes (who I highly recommend following… even if you don’t normally subscribe to email lists).
The title of the email was “We covet what we see, and what you covet is not Real.” It was a lengthy email, but here are a few excerpts [emphasis mine]:
I grew up in the 1990s, before social media took over. When I was growing up, the hottest girl you knew was whoever was the hottest girl in your class/grade/school was.
Maybe you lusted after a female celebrity, but your beauty norms were shaped by who you saw in person.
Obviously that has changed. We all posses the means now to view an infinite number of hot bodies on our smart phones. The commodification of beauty and the body has spawned a massive, massive industry.
Beauty has always been prized, beauty and glamor are persuasive, that is beyond question.
That said, when you are so inundated with beauty, glamor, appearance, you lose your perceptual underpinnings of what is REAL, and what is artificial.
He then addresses the incel/beta problem:
[The incel movement is] representative of a world in which a generation of damaged men have been raised indoctrinated by femininity, pushed into false vulnerability, made subservient to their feelings, and as a result they are truly beta, and helpless with women. Add in being skinny fat, being made to feel guilty for being a man, and raised to put women on a pedestal, and you’ll end up with some truly deranged individuals (its not accident that around 90% of school shooters are all raised by single mothers)
Modern femininity has cruelly and ironically created the very thing it set out to destroy; men that hate women, and don’t understand them (A woman can never raise a Man to be a Man)
I WOULD call that toxic masculinity.
And its made worse by young men scrolling through 10,000 IG skanqs. It traps their maturity into being perpetual betas looking at fake bodies, and probably pornography as well
The problem is not that men like to look at nude women. People have been depicting and looking at artful depictions naked women for a looooong time. (Yet the Scriptures are mysteriously silent on this “sin.”)
The problem is overexposure to glamour.
I define art as taking something ordinary and making it extraordinary. Art highlights the beauty or emotional power of an object or experience by re-framing it in a way that makes it seem new again.
Or, to bring it closer to home:
The first glamorous image of a naked woman you saw was thrilling. The 1,000th image you saw was “normal.”
The first time you watched sex from a third person perspective was intriguing. The 1,000th time you’re just trying to find a video with enough novelty to get excited enough to cum.
The problem with pornography is that it doesn’t offer any new perspectives on the beauty of sex or women. It only normalizes what was once (perhaps) an intriguing frame. Glamour becomes the expectation rather than the rare delight.
Even “Perfect 10s” don’t look as glamorous moment-to-moment as they do in their one-in-a-thousand perfect photographs.
As Cortes has pointed out, glamour has become a commodity. It’s no longer special.
So what’s the solution?
Well, here’s how NOT to solve the problem.
Don’t go around vilifying men for looking at porn. Let’s not be naive about this: porn exists in such abundance because it’s fulfilling an unmet need.
Men (and women) are hardwired to seek out the mystery that is sex.
I don’t think it takes a genius to figure out that if appreciation for truly artistic expressions of sex, such as the Song of Solomon, are not cultivated, then people will settle for the next best thing.
People will continue to consume tasteless porn for the same reason people continue to consume junk food: they are unaware of how sick they are; they just know they need to continue eating something. And they’re probably just too damn lazy to do anything about it on their own.
Of course, to make this analogy fitting for the present-day religious climate, you’d have to say it’s like telling people that eating is bad by pointing out the poor nutritional content of their diet. Then you ban all production of nutritious food and tell people if they don’t get over their “hunger problem” that they’ll be justly burned in hell forever. Then, as a solution, you offer a path of grace that says you’ll be forgiven for being hungry and eating such terrible food. But you really should stop eating… as evidence that you’re truly forgiven.
Peace out for now.
I’m taking a brief hiatus from my blog.
I’m going into “monk mode” for a while to knock out a mission critical project that is unrelated to this blog. Philosophizing about sex would be a distraction.
I intend to return though. Probably in 2-3 weeks or so.
My blog theme is going to expire soon. I suspect my blog will revert to some kind of generic design when it does. Or something wonky will happen, who knows? I’ll fix it when I return.
If you want to be sure you get alerted when I post again, follow me on WordPress or add my blog to your RSS reader.
Peace out (for now.)
At the end of the week, the premium WordPress theme I’ve been using is scheduled to expire and I don’t intend on renewing it.
I like the design fine, but I don’t like the back end. It was pitched as a drag-and-drop editor but the code is so bloated I have a hard time figuring out how to customize anything. Even after spending several months learning basic web development, I still haven’t figured out how to change the font sizes on the mobile layout.
Anyhow, I’ll be switching to a new theme soon.
If there’s any bloggers reading who are interested, the theme I am using now is from Elegant Themes. The theme I’ll be switching to is GeneratePress.
So expect to see some wonkiness going down if you visit my site this week.
If all goes well, I’ll remember to set up the new theme before my current one expires.
If not, expect all hell to break loose… visually at least.