What is the root of masculine greatness?
If kingship is what man is destined for, then there must be an immature belief in that destiny before it actualizes.
To an unbelieving world, it sounds selfish, egotistical, and even narcissistic to claim that you, as a man, are destined for kingship and are the rightful ruler of your household.
Nevertheless, it is the word of God.
A boy intuitively gets this. He dreams of his kingdom and imagines what he will become when he “grows up.” He imagines slaying the dragon and saving the girl.
Tragically, what most men become when they grow up is mediocre. Boyhood dreams of conquest are set aside as “selfish.” They get busy working hard to be a good employee, a good dad, a good husband.
Meanwhile they look on enviously as “selfish” “narcissistic” men get whatever they want from life.
Narcissist is an interesting term.
In common usage, when we refer to someone as a “narcissist” we usually mean that that they have an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.
Few would argue that it’s wrong to have self-interest or self-esteem. The man constantly plagued with doubts of his abilities will not get far in life. And anyone who claims purely altruistic motives is probably delusional.
The ambiguity is at what point does it become “excessive”? Wherever ambiguity exists, a plethora of guilt manipulators will arise to tell you just how selfish you’re being.
Feminists will shame you for your “toxic masculinity” and your “egotistical insecurities” when you attempt to take charge of your household.
Churches will shame you for your supposed “self worship” and call you to sacrifice your own interests to be a “servant leader.”
And your family will always define you by some past identity that they knew you as… the unathletic one, the nerd, the disobedient child, the compliant student, the “sweet boy” etc. … never acknowledging that you were meant to grow into something greater, something entirely your own.
Any attempt to rise above mediocrity and become a king will be shamed as self-centered and even narcissistic from nearly every influence in your life.
The world respects established kings. But they are hostile to future kings.
No one seems to know exactly what a narcissist is. But it’s a word that triggers strong reactions.
Personally, I like Ivan Throne’s poetic definition of the positive side of narcissism:
Narcissism is the driven, hardened vision of a man who believes in his own future achievement with such force, drive and experienced, focused mind that reality itself shimmers and shifts, and accords with his vision the way time and space curve in the presence of mass.
–The Nine Laws, p. 160
This is a fundamental truth a man must accept about the world:
The world is full of insecure people who will follow narcissists… for good or for ill.
That includes your wife and children.
Any man who would become a king must spend a large amount of time thinking about himself… who he is meant to become… what he needs to achieve. Then he must project confidence in his future achievements.
Some will call this narcissism. Let them.
An undefined man can offer nothing of value to the world. He is only a pawn in the power schemes of other kings.