The following is better marriage advice than you’ll get from any pastor or marriage counselor:
The reality is that women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. It’s just easier this way for everyone…
I realize I might take some heat for lumping women, children and the mentally handicapped in the same group. So I want to be perfectly clear. I’m not saying women are similar to either group. I’m saying that a man’s best strategy for dealing with each group is disturbingly similar.
This quote comes from humorist Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame). In context, Adams is entertaining his audience by poking fun at the men’s rights movement, telling them to “get over it, you bunch of pussies.”
It does a man no good to complain about a woman’s behavior or try to argue with her. It truly is more effective to treat her like a child.
While this mindset sounds offensive, the result is actually that women get what they want. For example…
You don’t try to rationally explain to a child why there’s no reason to worry. You give her a hug and say “it’s okay sweetie. Daddy will protect you.”
You don’t allow a child to speak disrespectfully towards you. You sternly rebuke her, then praise her for being a “good girl” when she changes her behavior.
You don’t bother a child with the “grown up” things that you’re worried about. You just take care of it.
You tell her how proud you are to see her working hard.
You give her an allowance to buy what she wants.
You play silly games with her.
You tease her for her silly behavior.
Last time I checked, this is what women call “happiness.”
While it sounds offensive on the outset, treating your wife like a child is the simplest way to both keep her happy and maintain the dominant frame in the relationship. Frame control is Level 1 of the marriage game.