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A cautionary tale about taking advice:

It was said that a group of fishermen caught a large number of turtles. After cooking them, they found out at the communal meal that these sea animals were much less edible that they thought: not many members of the group were willing to eat them. But Mercury happened to be passing by –Mercury was the most multitasking, sort of put-together god, as he was the boss of commerce, abundance, messengers, the underworld, as well as the patron of thieves and brigands and, not surprisingly, luck. The group invited him to join them and offered him the turtles to eat. Detecting that he was only invited to relieve them of the unwanted food, he forced them all to eat the turtles, thus establishing the principle that you need to eat what you feed others.

-Nicholas Nassim Taleb (“Why Each One Should Eat His Own Turtles“)

In terms of sex advice: if something doesn’t work for you, don’t try to pawn it off on unsuspecting young men.

Or the inverse: don’t take sex advice from someone who has an overweight or nagging wife. He’s probably getting less sex than you and is just trying to pass off an ineffective strategy to justify his own ego investment.

One of the big problems with sex advice is that, if the advice is bad, there is no harm to the advice-giver while the receiver of the advice gets screwed (figuratively, that is.)

If somebody, say a pastor, espouses bad sex advice from the pulpit or in a private counseling session, what can a man do? I’m still waiting to see the following headline:

Local Man Sues Pastor for Misleading Sex Advice After Receiving Only 1 Handjob a Month for 2 Years Straight

Yeah, probably not going to happen. No man wants to admit how little sex he’s having. And, even if he did, there’s no way to definitively prove that following a specific bit of advice was the cause.

Hence the reason that pastors can get away with virtue signaling about “servant leadership” from the pulpit without fear of consequence for bad advice. Meanwhile, well-intentioned husbands bear the full burden of bad advice in private.

Or let’s say an anonymous writer gives sex advice on his blog. What are the consequences to him if he espouses bad advice?

Again, nothing.

I have no “skin in the game” of your sex life. (That would be weird.)

If you fail to get laid, the burden falls on you and you alone.

All I can do for you is shine the light on what the Scripture says about sex, try to provide some perspective on married life, and point you to the resources and methods that I’m currently using.

The burden falls upon you to figure out what works.

But rest assured, I eat my own turtles.