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If you’re making any of these persuasion mistakes, you probably won’t get laid very often.

In Scott Adam’s Win Bigly book, he describes 4 common but ineffective forms of persuasion. They are (from worst to less worse):

  1. Word-thinking
  2. Hypocrisy
  3. Reason
  4. Analogies

“Word-thinking” is arguing over the right definition of words. You see this played out all the time in Christian circles. Someone (often a rebellious wife) will say “submitting to your husband does not mean…” Then someone else (often a men’s rights advocate) will try to to correct her definition. This is the most degenerate form of argument and will get you nowhere. Her mind is already made up.

“Hypocrisy” involves pointing out that your accuser is using a double-standard and is committing the same “sins” she is accusing you of. Like if your wife accuses you of playing too many video games and you respond by saying she spends too much time on Facebook. It might get her to stop pestering you. But it leaves her with the impression that both of you are bad people not worthy of respect. As a woman, she probably already dislikes herself, so you are the losing party in this exchange.

“Reason” seems like it would be a good persuasive tool, but it’s not. People make decisions on an emotional level and use reason to justify the decision. You can show your wife through reason that it is God’s will that she submit her body to you sexually. But that won’t get you anything more than reluctant duty sex. Far better to develop alpha male traits that get her panties wet, then use reason to show her that God approves of such things if she has any intellectual hangups about being your “sex object.”

“Analogies” are great for explaining new ideas, but terrible for persuasion. Because analogies are so imprecise she will find plenty of ammunition to resist the idea. For example, you might think that telling her “sex is to a man what attention is to a woman” would persuade her to give you more sex. But it won’t. She can wiggle out of it by telling herself you don’t give her enough attention. Or that one dinner conversation is not worth giving a blowjob, etc.

I would venture to guess that most husbands attempt to talk their wives into sex using one of the above techniques. But they’ll never work in the long-run.

So what does work?

Four things (strongest at the top):

#1) Fear:

  • Fear of missing out: her body is perishable, she has a limited window of time to experience the thrill of unbridled sexual passion
  • Fear of replacement: knowing that you could get another women motivates her to work hard to keep her place in your heart
  • Fear of disapproval: “I’m very disappointed in you” are probably the 5 most frightening words you can say to a woman. Anything softer than that should get the job done.

#2) Feminine Identity:

  • Young vs. old
  • Beautiful vs. repulsive
  • Sexy vs. distasteful
  • Empathetic vs. merciless
  • Generous vs. selfish
  • Fun vs. boring
  • Stylish vs. frumpy

#3) Aspirations:

  • What gives her a sense of worth? (e.g. fulfilling a duty, mastering a skill, making a deep connection with someone)
  • What makes her like herself? (e.g. taking care of others, being flexible, standing up against evil)
  • What gives her energy to move forward? (e.g. being acknowledged, a bold new challenge, finding her true self)

#4) Habits:

Whenever you _______, think about _______.

Examples:

Whenever you look at yourself in the mirror, think about how I want your body.

Whenever you’re cooking me dinner, think about how sexy that is to me.

Keep this in your panty drawer and think about these ideas every time you get dressed.

Don’t waste your time with bad persuasion. Stick to the stuff that works and you might be surprised how quickly she responds.