I’m a big nerd for personality psychology.

The best teacher I’ve found on applying personality psychology to the real world is Stefanie Arroyo. She teaches how many people mis-type themselves when they take the online Myers-Briggs tests. Instead, you’ve got to assess a person yourself based on their behavior.

I adapted these 4 simple questions from her teaching. Use them to discover what kind of woman you have on your hands.

Question #1:

Does she enjoy bantering with strangers? (e.g. Uber drivers, new people at church, cashiers at the store, etc.)

Extroverts (E) are naturally drawn to and energized by meeting new people. Introverts (I) only talk to new people if they have a specific reason to.

Question #2:

Is she more of a “head-in-the-clouds” person or “down-to-earth” person?

Intuitive (N) people live in a world of imagination and ideas and tend to miss practical details. Sensing (S) people are practical and detail-oriented and tend to miss the big picture. (About 3 out 4 women are “Sensing”)

Question #3:

Does she talk about what she “thinks” or what she “feels”?

Thinkers (T) are primarily concerned with truth and falsehood and justify their opinions through logic. Feelers (F) are primarily concerned with harmony and justify their opinions based on how it makes themselves and others feel. (About 2 out of 3 women are “Feelers”).

Question #4:

Does she (consistently) follow a meal plan and recipes when preparing dinner… or does she improvise and throw things together?

Judgers (J) use schedules and todo lists and think in terms of tasks – what needs to get done? Perceivers (P) improvise and think in terms of opportunities – what could I do now?

Personality types are a large part of what creates the unique pleasures and challenges in a marriage.

I’m an INTP and my wife is an ESFP. To put it in archetype terms, my marriage is like an absent-minded professor married to an in-the-moment entertainer.

So my marriage challenges may be very different then, say, a practical-minded man married to an idealist woman.

Yes, there are universal attributes shared by all women. But for the specific applications, it often comes down to individual personalities.

Once you’ve typed your wife, I recommend checking the description here:


If the description mostly fits, study the strengths and weaknesses and what makes that personality tick. It may save you a lot of trouble.