I’m going to tell you an unusual story about entrepreneurs… but I promise it will tie into women and sex, so bear with me.
During my professional career, I had the privilege of spending a year or so working directly for one of America’s top entrepreneur coaches. I got to sit in on several of his high end “mastermind” groups and I have personally spoken with dozens, if not hundreds, of successful entrepreneurs… some of whom owned 7-figure businesses.
Initially, I thought it would feel intimidating being surrounded by so many successful people.
But I was surprised to find that, with few exceptions, these people were riddled with self-doubt and a “still-not-good-enough” attitude.
Even my boss, who could conjure up $50K+ with a single presentation, would feel depressed if he felt he botched the pitch or didn’t reach his (arbitrary) sales goal.
My boss was a leader, not to a group of fearless business tycoons, but to a group of creative misfits and opportunity seekers with inferiority complexes. In other words, owners of successful businesses.
Witnessing this was a paradigm-shifting experience for me.
I had always assumed that the wealthiest people in society were the “alpha males.” And, to an extent, that’s true. Alpha males tend to go into sales or some kind of leadership position that allows them to leverage their confidence to earn an above-average salary.
But I’m talking about people who broke the salary barrier and made far more money than a person could spend on their own.
These people did not make money because of their confidence.
They made money because of their lack of confidence.
They had to prove to the world that they were good enough. They weren’t just a hopeless dreamer like their family and friends thought they were.
It wasn’t so much that they had a practical reason to make all that money. They were trying to escape an undesirable situation. They were misfits trying to escape condemnation.
This insecurity gave these people an insatiable appetite to “take things to the next level.” And to the next level they went… to six figures, seven figures, eight figures…
Ironically enough, it was this interaction with successful entrepreneurs that made me realize I would probably never build a multi-million dollar company. I had too much self-assurance to stay motivated.
So how does this relate to your sex life?
More than you might think.
It all comes down to understanding the turbulent personality type.
While your wife may not be an entrepreneurial type, she probably does have a turbulent personality to some degree (most women do.)
There’s a great description of the turbulent personality over at 16 Personalities:
Individuals with Turbulent (-T) identity are self-conscious and sensitive to stress. They experience a wide range of emotions and tend to be success-driven, perfectionistic and eager to improve. They are also more willing to change jobs if they feel stuck in their current one and to spend time thinking about the direction in which their life is going.
However, while the Assertive variant may seem more positive on the surface, that is not always the case – for instance, Turbulent individuals perform better in certain roles as they push themselves to achieve superior results, while Assertive ones do not care about the outcome that much. Always feeling the need to do more, to have more, and to be more, Turbulent types often forget how exhausting that can be to both themselves and the people around them – but it is entirely possible that this desire to always push themselves just a little further helps many Turbulent types to achieve what they seek to achieve.
Now, just append the phrase “in bed” to the key phrases in the above two paragraphs. Starting to see the connection?
If you have a turbulent woman on your hands, you have a woman who, under the right conditions, is ripe for a transformation.
All she needs is a vision.
Tragically, the Church has largely neglected or even condemned the utility of psychology in helping people change. Thus the door has been left wide open to feminists and other worldly-wise charlatans who have no qualms about leveraging a woman’s insecurities for a greater purpose.
It would do a man good to ponder this equation:
Turbulent Personality + Undesirable Situation = Ready for Dramatic Change
Today’s post covered the turbulent personality. Tomorrow, I’ll cover the different types of undesirable situations and how they can be leveraged.