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You’ll read a lot on the manosphere about the importance of having or purpose or “mission.”

And I realized:

A lot men are constantly wondering, “Great, but how in the hell do I find it?”

Some guys simply say getting in shape is your mission, or making money, or whatever your trying to improve.

For some men, that can work. But if you’re like me, you need something more compelling than self-improvement to motivate you to stick through the tough times.

Here’s a simple method I recently came up with for discovering your true purpose.

  1. Ask yourself what you want to improve
  2. Ask yourself “why?” until you can answer no further

The answer you’re left with is what is truly driving your actions. The sooner you admit and embrace this drive, the sooner you’ll find your personal power.


“I want to lose weight.”


“So I become more attractive to my wife/women.”


“Because I want to have more sex.”


“I don’t know. There’s just something deeply satisfying about penetrating a woman and releasing my seed.”

There’s your purpose.

People tend to focus on deficiencies rather than purpose.

If the story you’re telling yourself is “I need to lose weight” or “I need to make more money” or whatever, you’ll quickly give up when things get difficult.

“Be a better person” is not a compelling (or honest) motive.

Neither is “glorify God and enjoy him forever.”

These are pseudo-purposes that make you feel like you’re a good person, yet give you no real power to change.

Which sounds more compelling? Losing a few pounds? Or penetrating a woman with the raw, unhindered strength of a warrior?

Which one are you visualizing as you improve yourself?

(And, last I checked, constant sexual activity with your woman is one of the most godly purposes a man can pursue (c.f. Ephesians 5; 1 Cor 7, et al))

Focus on the purpose, not the deficiencies.

Embrace what you truly want, even it seems “selfish” or “juvenile.”

It’s the only thing that will truly motivate you to become a better man.

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