Marriage game works. Sometimes even on the brink of divorce.
Take this man for example who was stuck in a sexless marriage with a wife who wanted out:
In the beginning of all this change she was desperate. I will never know what she was thinking and why she wanted a divorce, she wont tell me, and I will not ever ask. She needed something in life and she was striking out every possible way to find it. Think of a cat being thrown into a pool. So the red pill had to be Acta, non verba. I could not discuss anything with her, I just had to deal with her shit tests, improve my SMV, and be the kind of man my son could look up to. Never engaging in fights or insults. The first days were a war zone of nasty comments and snippets such as “Who are you getting all dressed up for?” and “Why do I get stuck with our son and you get to go out?”. She would constantly engage me out of desperation so I didn’t press anything. There was push back with A&A [agree and amplify] and AM. I did follow NMMNG [No More Mr. Nice Guy] and set my boundaries by not engaging and walking away. In a way all I did was pull as a means of pushing. She learned all my boundaries without ever being told what they were.
The problem was there was no sex to begin with. Instantly I had to withdraw and act like divorce was the only solution. Of course we had to interact on day to day business. She came to the conclusion that I had even stopped doing that. One night she had gotten a bit tipsy and in a momentary lapse of judgement she had sex with me. Only it wasn’t the usual foreplay for 3 straight hours with 2 minutes of intercourse. This was passionate kissing her up against a wall, throwing her on the bed, and taking her from behind harder than I ever had in my life. She only had time to say to me “Wow, I wanted fucked but damn if I had known that…” and I was in the shower.
The next day she woke up and came downstairs. I was cheerful and she made me a cup of coffee while I cooked breakfast. We caught up some bills and paperwork and spent about an hour acting like real adults. Time goes on, wash, rinse, repeat, she is beginning to learn. At first she uses alcohol because then after two drinks she is magically not responsible for her behavior. Don’t care. Then in the coming weeks she is actively seeking out sex with me without a drink or two. Attention and time is poured on correspondingly.
Full post here.
You never know when or how the initial spark of passion will catch fire. Just focus on improving your SMV and keep experimenting.
Expect to deal with a lot of “shit tests” in the beginning. But always remember that you’re playing the long game. Do not panic in the face of adversity.
Carry on, good soldier!