This recent headline from the Gospel Coalition reveals that many modern Christians are simply damsels in distress waiting to be rescued:

9 Ways to Pastor Single Christians Longing for Marriage

To illustrate the absurdity of this attitude, just change the context:

9 Ways to Pastor Poor Christians Longing for a Successful Business

9 Ways to Pastor Ignorant Christians Longing for Knowledge

9 Ways to Pastor Overweight Christians Longing for Thinness

9 Ways to Pastor Skinny Christians Longing for Muscles

9 Ways to Pastor Smart Christians Longing for an Audience

If you’re a man, “longing” for a marriage won’t get you anywhere. Figure out where the women are, improve yourself, and start screening your options.

And women would do well to follow the advice Naomi gave to Ruth:

“Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes, and go down to the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking.” (Ruth 3:4)

There’s a difference between wishing for something and truly desiring something. Wishing focuses on what you lack and leads to bitterness. Desire focuses on what you want and leads to action.

Finding a good spouse is difficult. But it’s the kind of difficulty that makes you a better person.