People seem to love the idea of quick-and-easy 3-step, 7-step, or whatever plans to “saving your marriage.”
Trouble is, these plans almost never work. There are too many unknown variables and each relationship is a distinct challenge.
But I also realize that without a unified strategy to focus your actions, no progress will be made. Everything just looks like a random mess of tricks and ideas that may or may not help your marriage.
So I’d like to propose a strategy that I believe any Christian man can follow to make progress in the game of marriage. It’s broad enough to account for unique variables and differing tactics, but specific enough to provide focus.
There are 5 (roughly) sequential phases to this strategy:
- Identify her strongest desire
- Reinforce that desire through nicknames, encouragement, innuendos, and challenges
- Show her how your cock is the fulfillment to that desire
- When she signals her readiness, perform the deed without inhibition
- Continue to remove physical, cultural and mental constraints until you are completely satisfied
Of course, the “devil’s in the details” as they say. And I am deviously scheming on how best to present those details to you.
While the purpose of this blog is not to share the details of my sexual exploits, I’ll just say that this strategy is working well for me so far.
You can use this framework to organize all your own sinister schemes to give your wife the masculine lovin’ she so desperately craves.
NOTE: I know that some Christians might be offended by such an open use of the word “cock.” But I carefully chose that term for a reason. It is a good and most acceptable term in the context of marriage. This will likely be a topic of future posts.
This is a brilliant display of masculine dominance. Watch and learn.
The context is that blogger Vox Day is being slandered on social media platform Gab. Most people in his situation would either ignore the attacks or play the victim card.
Instead, Vox plays the dominant male perfectly:
Again, I will point out that it is not my intent to harm Gab. We are not requesting any damages from Gab and we do not anticipate any further legal action against them once we obtain the requested information about the parties responsible. As a number of VFM and Dread Ilk have noted, I am handling Gab with kid gloves, in part because they are young and inexperienced and they do not appear be receiving appropriate legal counsel. But I have made it very, very clear that the defamatory attacks on me are going to be removed, one way or another, and as always, I am not bluffing.
It’s subtle, but note the sub-message sent to the recipient:
- “I’m still on your side.”
- “I have control of my emotions. I’m not vengeful.”
- “You are going to submit to my request.”
- “I could hurt you if I wanted too…”
- “But I’m going to be gentle with you…”
- “Because you are naive.”
- “I have given you fair warning.”
- “You are going to stop this unacceptable behavior.”
- “I will use as much force as necessary to get your compliance.”
- “I never bluff about this sort of thing.”
Talk this way to a man and it will either anger or humiliate him. But tell a woman you’re going to “handle her with kid gloves” because of her “inexperience” and it will inspire quite a different reaction.
I don’t know how Vox Day talks to his wife. But if it’s anything like this, I imagine his wife is a happy woman.
Let’s get something clear:
The power to have a happy marriage and blessed sex life comes from within the woman.
It doesn’t matter how much you “need” sex. It doesn’t matter how often you try to rationally explain to her why she needs to change her behavior.
All you need is the desires that God has already placed deep in her heart and loins.
Without a man to guide her, these desires have no direction. She does not know what she wants. Her inner life is a state of conflicting emotions and chaotic thoughts.
Your job is to bring her focus on these desires and give them a goal. You do not create anything new; you simply channel and direct what already exists.
You are the shepherd of her womanly yearnings.
With that said, the first step is to know what these desires are. Below is a summary of the 8 desires that every normal woman has. It’s a safe bet to assume that your wife is no different.
- Work hard to earn a man’s approval
- See social proof that her man is high quality
- Subordinate herself to a worthy man’s mission
- Yield her frame to a more powerful man
- Be kept in a perpetual state of intrigue and erotic tension
- Explore her sensual imagination
- A sexual man who makes known what he wants
- Sensual, passionate and “rough” sex
Ponder these desires. Know them intimately. They will serve you well.
Don’t be fooled by what you see on the surface. A woman’s beliefs and behavior will often contradict her true desires. She needs your help to bring them out.
NOTE: These 8 desires were adapted from the 16 Commandments of Poon.
A woman’s mind is essentially made up of three parts:
1. Her desires – her wants, needs, and cravings (e.g. financial security, to be desirable, to have exciting sex)
2. Her identifications – the roles she wants to play and the personality traits she wants to project (e.g. fun, helpful, a “free spirit”)
3. Her beliefs – opinions, attitudes, prejudices (e.g. conservative, liberal, optimistic, cynical, etc.)
These 3 dimensions* represent the raw material you have to work with to shape your woman into who you want her to be.
Her desires will probably be the same universal desires that all women have. Her identifications are determined by her personality. Her beliefs are shaped by her background… and may or may not be biblical.
Desires and identifications can be channeled towards a goal. Her current beliefs are your starting points.
A false belief can block her from acknowledging her true desires. But beliefs can be built upon and reframed until she recognizes what she truly wants.
This is a time-tested model to understand and influence the mind. Direct mail advertisers have been using it for decades to persuade millions of women to pull out their purses and send money to a complete stranger in exchange for pricey health products.
Trust me. Once you understand a little practical psychology, it’s a helluva lot easier to persuade your own wife to do something than to sell something to strangers. I’ve tried both.
* The 3 dimensions of the mind is a concept taught by Eugene Schwartz in Breakthrough Advertising.