Sexual Market Value Test for Married Men

The sexual market value test for married men is ready!

A couple words of warning before you take this…

Keep in mind that this is not a test designed to flatter your ego. Expect to get a low score. It’s a tool for learning, not a means to signal your status.

Think of it like college. It’s kinda like you’re studying to get a degree in “Masculinity.” This is a tool to determine whether you can “test out” of any of the required courses. But it’s safest to assume you’ll have to start out at 0 or even take some remedial courses.

Each point on the test is like a “credit.” It takes work to earn each credit. You need to earn a sufficient number of credits to graduate at the level of masculinity you wish to achieve.

Finally, realize that this is not a knowledge test. It will be obvious what the “right” answer is. It’s an inventory test… do you have the asset or not? It does you no good to be dishonest. Nobody will care about your score. It only matters what you have in reality.

So with all that blathering aside, here’s the link:

>> Take the Married Man SMV Test Here <<

Self-doubt is Sexy

Let’s talk about a woman’s “self-esteem.”

You’ll hear all the time about how women struggle with body image, face unrealistic standards of beauty, are pressured to “sexualize” their body, etc. etc.

But there is a more intriguing aspect of a woman’s self-esteem that is rarely discussed.

Erotic tension.

A woman who thinks she deserves better is repulsive. But a woman who doubts her beauty is primed and ready for an erotic adventure.

Consider Song of Solomon 1:6:

Do not stare at me because I am swarthy,
For the sun has burned me.
My mother’s sons were angry with me;
They made me caretaker of the vineyards,
But I have not taken care of my own vineyard.

“Vineyard” is a metaphor for her body. This is a woman who knows she’s not as beautiful as she could be.

She has just met the man of her dreams and she doubts that she is beautiful enough to be desirable to him. She got so busy working for others that she neglected to put in the work needed to present her beauty as well as she could have.

She knows that the man she desires is desirable to other women:

Your name is like purified oil;
Therefore the maidens love you. (1:3)

“Will he find me pleasing?” she thinks. “He could choose from so many other women. I’m not nearly beautiful enough for a man like that. Oh, if only I had better prepared for this moment!”

It is this perceived mismatch of value that is the beginning of erotic tension.

It is a good thing if your wife expresses doubts about her body. It is at that moment of doubt that she is yearning to please you and earn your approval.

And just as you affirmed her beauty and sent her heart a-flutter when you asked for her hand in marriage, so you will reaffirm your approval of her when you take her into the bedroom… again…and again…and again…

The more attractive you are to women in generalthe more your wife will doubt that she is pleasing enough for you. She will work hard to prove herself worthy of being your wife.

This is why you want to work on increasing your “sexual market value.” You want her to feel like she lucked out by the fact that you “settled” for her.

A woman who feels inferior and unworthy of her man’s approval is a woman who will dress sexy and yearn for frequent sex. She needs constant approval when she’s in the presence of a high quality man.

P.S. I’m putting the final touches on the SMV test for married men. I plan to have it up soon.

7 Tools Every Man Needs to Survive and Thrive in a Modern Marriage

It’s not unreasonable to compare marriage to a war zone.

God describes this conflict in Genesis 3:

Your desire shall be contrary to your husband,
but he shall rule over you.

This is a conflict that the man must win. The unhappiness that results from the woman “winning” is obvious to anyone not deeply invested in the feminist narrative.

So with that said, here are what I believe are the 7 essential tools (or “weapons” if you prefer more violent terminology) that a man needs to have a sexually fulfilled, God-honoring marriage:

#1: A High Sexual Market Value

Most men think that after they get “hitched” they no longer have to think about being attractive to women. This is a big mistake. One of the biggest reason men are afraid to provide strong masculine leadership is because they are terrified of losing their wife.

The man who knows he can get a younger, hotter wife should his current wife ever go psycho and leave him or give him legitimate cause for divorce is a man who has the confidence to subdue his wife. And though she’ll never admit it, your wife will sense this and become aroused by it.

When it comes to getting laid, attraction is more powerful than “the Bible says…”

Improving your sexual attractiveness is the best framework for self-improvement and the benefits go beyond just the sexual. I hope to publish a test soon to help married Christian men estimate their sexual attractiveness. Until then, use the one at Chateau Heartiste and make ethical adjustments accordingly.

#2: Frame Control

Watch this five minute video. Realize that this exact thing happens in your marriage.


I’m not exaggerating when I say that learning to recognize and control frames will change your marriage and your life. The simplest way to control the frame is to imagine that your wife is a child.

#3: The Ability to Refrain from Compulsive Masturbation

In spite of what some Christians teach, it is clearly unbiblical to call masturbation a sin. It’s a perfectly natural thing to do once in a while if you need to relax or if you feel like a raging animal and your wife is not available.

However, if you feel the need to grab your dick and jerk yourself off every time you get a boner, this is a sign of weakness. You’ll have difficulty lasting in the bedroom. You’ll be drained of masculine energy and less likely to take risks. You’ll imagine confronting your wife like a man or dominating her in the bedroom… then you’ll chicken out at the last second or else your execution will be so flaccid that she’ll just wonder what in the hell you’re trying to do.

I don’t recommend trying to go “cold turkey” but it’s good to embrace the feeling of being “on edge.” Save the self-release valve for when boldness is really not advantageous or for when you’ve reached your limit and your wife is unavailable for you to unleash the beast.

#4: Irrational Confidence

Most men base their confidence on their achievements. That’s a perfectly valid basis for confidence. But in order to achieve a masculine pursuit (like subduing a woman) you need an even deeper source of confidence… an irrational confidence.

When you’re around your wife, it doesn’t matter how much of a loser you are objectively. Your confidence comes simply from the fact that you have balls. Your wife needs your cock. And she needs your semen. She is unable to fulfill herself. You allow her to feast upon your manhood because of your kindness.

In your household, you are the alpha male.

#5: Good Genes to Show Off

Being nice doesn’t get you laid. Neither does being a jerk. It’s all about your genes.

I think Scott Adams said it best:

A man who thinks humans are rational creatures might try to attract a woman by being extra nice. That seems reasonable because people like nice people more than they like mean people. But seduction-wise, niceness is boring, and nice people are a dime-a-dozen. Niceness can only get you so far.

A far better seduction strategy would involve participating in any kind of coed group activities at which you happen to excel. When you display any kind of talent, it triggers other humans to want to mate with you. We’re biologically hardwired to be attracted to anything that helps the gene pool, and talent is a signal for valuable genes. So instead of being nice, focus on being talented, or attractive, or smart, or muscular, or something that suggests you have good genes.

A common misconception is that because nice guys seem to finish last, and jerky guys seem to get the women, being a jerk must have some sort of seduction advantage. It doesn’t. That’s an illusion caused by the fact that people who have OTHER advantages – such as wealth or beauty – have the freedom to act like jerks because they can attract mates no matter what. If you don’t understand what motivates people at a deep level, you might be fooled by your observation that jerks often do well in romance. If being mean were useful to getting sex, you would see ugly people doing it more often with great success. But keep your eyes open and you’ll notice that attractive people can get away with being mean, and ugly people can’t. Attractiveness is the key correlation.

Even though the vast majority of sex does not lead to conception, signs of good baby-making is always the foundation of sexual attraction.

Don’t try to flaunt what you don’t have. Identify your best attributes and constantly put those on display. Sexualize your talents. Then take her into the bedroom to remind her why she once yearned for your seed.

#6: Manipulation Immunity

Never panic in the face of adversity. When you make a decision, don’t let her fears and anxiety derail you from following through. Don’t let her guilt-trip you.

Be open to negotiation without compromising your mission. And it’s always your mission. It’s your interpretation of what God wants you to do. She has the privilege of joining you on this righteous mission.

Don’t be so quick to act upon the things she feels are urgent. They are probably not.

Keep calm and carry on.

#7: Ego Control

If you’re reading this, you have an ego problem. We all do.

I’m not talking about “ego” in a Freudian sense. I’m talking about our unhealthy focus on status. It’s the need to be better than others, have more than others, be recognized by others.

Our egos are what distorts our sense of reality and prevents us from achieving our goals, sexual or otherwise. The ego craves recognition more than genuine success and real blessings.

The biblical definition of a fool, in modern lingo, is someone who lets their ego govern their life instead of wisdom.

Ego is why we talk about the “war on men” but we don’t put in the work needed to become more masculine.

Ego is why we settle for approval and recognition from others (e.g. church, parents, boss, wife) while neglecting to do what we know God wants us to do.

Ego is why we refuse to accept truths about women discovered by those with more sexual experience than us (even if those truths don’t always come from the most godly sources).

Ego is why we vent our frustrations about women without coming up with a strategy to fix the problem.

Ego is why we become bitter or even lash out at our wives rather than accepting that they may never understand us but we can love them anyways.

Ego is why we choose to settle for watching porn rather than face the initial awkwardness of trying to be a real man in the bedroom.

Ego is why we overestimate our sexual attractiveness.

Ego is why we make good intentions to change ourselves but then procrastinate. It’s always easier to watch another TV show, play another video game, or spend another half-hour goofing around on the internet than it is to accept the amount of work we have to do and learn to enjoy it.

All this and more is how ego sabotages our ability to achieve a happy marriage. (For more on the ego, I cannot recommend highly enough Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday.)

Remember, it’s the fear of the Lord that’s the beginning of wisdom.

When you care more about what God thinks of you than what your wife or other men think of you, you will understand wisdom. And wisdom is the key to obtaining blessings, including the “blessings of the breasts.”

Now go forth and conquer!

NOTE: These “tools” were adapted and expanded from the principles found in the 16 Commandments of Poon.

5-Step “Plan” to Fixing All Your Marriage Woes

People seem to love the idea of quick-and-easy 3-step, 7-step, or whatever plans to “saving your marriage.”

Trouble is, these plans almost never work. There are too many unknown variables and each relationship is a distinct challenge.

But I also realize that without a unified strategy to focus your actions, no progress will be made. Everything just looks like a random mess of tricks and ideas that may or may not help your marriage.

So I’d like to propose a strategy that I believe any Christian man can follow to make progress in the game of marriage. It’s broad enough to account for unique variables and differing tactics, but specific enough to provide focus.

There are 5 (roughly) sequential phases to this strategy:

  1. Identify her strongest desire
  2. Reinforce that desire through nicknames, encouragement, innuendos, and challenges
  3. Show her how your cock is the fulfillment to that desire
  4. When she signals her readiness, perform the deed without inhibition
  5. Continue to remove physical, cultural and mental constraints until you are completely satisfied

Of course, the “devil’s in the details” as they say. And I am deviously scheming on how best to present those details to you.

While the purpose of this blog is not to share the details of my sexual exploits, I’ll just say that this strategy is working well for me so far.

You can use this framework to organize all your own sinister schemes to give your wife the masculine lovin’ she so desperately craves.

NOTE: I know that some Christians might be offended by such an open use of the word “cock.” But I carefully chose that term for a reason. It is a good and most acceptable term in the context of marriage. This will likely be a topic of future posts.


Handle Her with “Kid Gloves”

This is a brilliant display of masculine dominance. Watch and learn.

The context is that blogger Vox Day is being slandered on social media platform Gab. Most people in his situation would either ignore the attacks or play the victim card.

Instead, Vox plays the dominant male perfectly:

Again, I will point out that it is not my intent to harm Gab. We are not requesting any damages from Gab and we do not anticipate any further legal action against them once we obtain the requested information about the parties responsible. As a number of VFM and Dread Ilk have noted, I am handling Gab with kid gloves, in part because they are young and inexperienced and they do not appear be receiving appropriate legal counsel. But I have made it very, very clear that the defamatory attacks on me are going to be removed, one way or another, and as always, I am not bluffing.

It’s subtle, but note the sub-message sent to the recipient:

  1. “I’m still on your side.”
  2. “I have control of my emotions. I’m not vengeful.”
  3. “You are going to submit to my request.”
  4. “I could hurt you if I wanted too…”
  5. “But I’m going to be gentle with you…”
  6. “Because you are naive.”
  7. “I have given you fair warning.”
  8. “You are going to stop this unacceptable behavior.”
  9. “I will use as much force as necessary to get your compliance.”
  10. “I never bluff about this sort of thing.”

Talk this way to a man and it will either anger or humiliate him. But tell a woman you’re going to “handle her with kid gloves” because of her “inexperience” and it will inspire quite a different reaction.

I don’t know how Vox Day talks to his wife. But if it’s anything like this, I imagine his wife is a happy woman.


8 Things Every Woman Wants

Let’s get something clear:

The power to have a happy marriage and blessed sex life comes from within the woman.

It doesn’t matter how much you “need” sex. It doesn’t matter how often you try to rationally explain to her why she needs to change her behavior.

All you need is the desires that God has already placed deep in her heart and loins.

Without a man to guide her, these desires have no direction. She does not know what she wants. Her inner life is a state of conflicting emotions and chaotic thoughts.

Your job is to bring her focus on these desires and give them a goal. You do not create anything new; you simply channel and direct what already exists.

You are the shepherd of her womanly yearnings.

With that said, the first step is to know what these desires are. Below is a summary of the 8 desires that every normal woman has. It’s a safe bet to assume that your wife is no different.

  1. Work hard to earn a man’s approval
  2. See social proof that her man is high quality
  3. Subordinate herself to a worthy man’s mission
  4. Yield her frame to a more powerful man
  5. Be kept in a perpetual state of intrigue and erotic tension
  6. Explore her sensual imagination
  7. A sexual man who makes known what he wants
  8. Sensual, passionate and “rough” sex

Ponder these desires. Know them intimately. They will serve you well.

Don’t be fooled by what you see on the surface. A woman’s beliefs and behavior will often contradict her true desires. She needs your help to bring them out.

NOTE: These 8 desires were adapted from the 16 Commandments of Poon.


How a Woman’s Brain Works (Simplified)

A woman’s mind is essentially made up of three parts:

1. Her desires – her wants, needs, and cravings (e.g. financial security, to be desirable, to have exciting sex)

2. Her identifications – the roles she wants to play and the personality traits she wants to project (e.g. fun, helpful, a “free spirit”)

3. Her beliefs – opinions, attitudes, prejudices (e.g. conservative, liberal, optimistic, cynical, etc.)

These 3 dimensions* represent the raw material you have to work with to shape your woman into who you want her to be.

Her desires will probably be the same universal desires that all women have. Her identifications are determined by her personality. Her beliefs are shaped by her background… and may or may not be biblical.

Desires and identifications can be channeled towards a goal. Her current beliefs are your starting points.

A false belief can block her from acknowledging her true desires. But beliefs can be built upon and reframed until she recognizes what she truly wants.

This is a time-tested model to understand and influence the mind. Direct mail advertisers have been using it for decades to persuade millions of women to pull out their purses and send money to a complete stranger in exchange for pricey health products.

Trust me. Once you understand a little practical psychology, it’s a helluva lot easier to persuade your own wife to do something than to sell something to strangers. I’ve tried both.


* The 3 dimensions of the mind is a concept taught by Eugene Schwartz in Breakthrough Advertising.