While reading Napoleon Hill’s classic success manual, The Law of Success, I was able to tease out a simple and intuitive scheme for personal success.
- Use your imagination to decide what you want
- Correct your weaknesses that might prevent from obtaining what you desire
- Skillfully and tactfully induce others to cooperate
Or, in short:
Here’s an example how it applies to the topic of this blog:
First, you must tap into your inner fantasy. What do you want your marriage and sex life to look like? Become resolute in your conscience that what you want is both allowable by God and good to pursue. Then decide (rather than wish) that you will pursue it.
Second, correct your character deficiencies that will prevent you from achieving your aim. Eliminate your anti-seductive qualities and increase your testosterone.
Third, skillfully induce your wife to embrace your fantasy in such a way where your desires and her desires merge in perfect harmony. In other words, learn the art of seduction.
Most men sort of half-ass their time on Step 1 by watching pornography. But there’s a big difference between wishing you had something and truly desiring it. A wish focuses on what you’re missing and tends to lead to self-pity. A desire focuses on what you want to obtain and leads to action.
Once you know what you want and prepare yourself to get it, the majority of your life will be spent inducing cooperation from others.
I had an epiphany while reading the introduction of Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s latest book, Skin in the Game.
Taleb defines three categories of risk:
No Skin in the Game – keeps the upside, transfers downside to others, owns a hidden option at someone else’s expense (e.g. bureaucrats, policy wonks)
Skin in the Game – keeps his own downside, takes his or her own risk (e.g. citizens)
Skin in the Game of Others, or Soul in the Game – takes the downside on behalf of others, or for universal values (e.g. saints, knights, warriors, soldiers)
To have “skin in the game of others” is to love someone sacrificially. You are taking a risk and absorbing the consequence on another’s behalf. Sound familiar?
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her
Churchians have twisted this passage to mean that husbands are called to be a servant to his wife. After all, if you’re working hard doing things for someone else, you must be sacrificing, right?
But a servant cannot love his master like Christ loved the church. The master bears the consequences of his own risks. I think the passage can be better paraphrased as follows:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and took a risk for her, taking the downside on himself while sharing the upside with her.
Common examples of this include:
Enduring constant rejection, failure, and criticism while attempting to start a business or move into a better career. The man bears the downside. The woman shares the spoils if he is victorious.
Making the decision to make a lifestyle change that breaks from the status quo and better conforms to what the family wants. He’s seen as the irresponsible jerk dragging his poor wife into misery. She enjoys the benefits of a lifestyle she’d be too afraid to start on her own.
Being the “jerk” that sets necessary boundaries with intrusive friends or family. He risks his reputation so that she can be protected.
Standing up for truth when it is unpopular. The man bears the brunt of the attacks. The woman is still treated kindly in most cases.
Allowing his reputation to be maligned when others assume her unhappiness is his fault. In reality, he has stuck with her because he cares enough about her ultimate happiness to endure years of man-hating rhetoric just for the chance to see her smile.
Being a loving husband is NOT about doing chores or being chivalrous. Being a loving husband is about taking the necessary risks that she is too afraid or unable to take herself. And you protect her from the downside of those risks by taking it upon yourself.
A cautionary tale about taking advice:
It was said that a group of fishermen caught a large number of turtles. After cooking them, they found out at the communal meal that these sea animals were much less edible that they thought: not many members of the group were willing to eat them. But Mercury happened to be passing by –Mercury was the most multitasking, sort of put-together god, as he was the boss of commerce, abundance, messengers, the underworld, as well as the patron of thieves and brigands and, not surprisingly, luck. The group invited him to join them and offered him the turtles to eat. Detecting that he was only invited to relieve them of the unwanted food, he forced them all to eat the turtles, thus establishing the principle that you need to eat what you feed others.
-Nicholas Nassim Taleb (“Why Each One Should Eat His Own Turtles“)
In terms of sex advice: if something doesn’t work for you, don’t try to pawn it off on unsuspecting young men.
Or the inverse: don’t take sex advice from someone who has an overweight or nagging wife. He’s probably getting less sex than you and is just trying to pass off an ineffective strategy to justify his own ego investment.
One of the big problems with sex advice is that, if the advice is bad, there is no harm to the advice-giver while the receiver of the advice gets screwed (figuratively, that is.)
If somebody, say a pastor, espouses bad sex advice from the pulpit or in a private counseling session, what can a man do? I’m still waiting to see the following headline:
Local Man Sues Pastor for Misleading Sex Advice After Receiving Only 1 Handjob a Month for 2 Years Straight
Yeah, probably not going to happen. No man wants to admit how little sex he’s having. And, even if he did, there’s no way to definitively prove that following a specific bit of advice was the cause.
Hence the reason that pastors can get away with virtue signaling about “servant leadership” from the pulpit without fear of consequence for bad advice. Meanwhile, well-intentioned husbands bear the full burden of bad advice in private.
Or let’s say an anonymous writer gives sex advice on his blog. What are the consequences to him if he espouses bad advice?
I have no “skin in the game” of your sex life. (That would be weird.)
If you fail to get laid, the burden falls on you and you alone.
All I can do for you is shine the light on what the Scripture says about sex, try to provide some perspective on married life, and point you to the resources and methods that I’m currently using.
The burden falls upon you to figure out what works.
But rest assured, I eat my own turtles.
Dalrock has done the church a great service by exposing the feminist narrative that has infiltrated the church.
Unfortunately, intentionally or not, he has also facilitated an equally demotivating paradigm. This tends to happen in reactionary movements.
Here’s a comparison:
The Churchian Story
- She is unhappy.
- She is sacrificing for the family. He is not helping out enough around the home.
- She feels neglected. She doesn’t want sex because she doesn’t feel loved.
- She discovers he is looking at pornography.
- He realizes he has been a bad husband.
- He agrees to “man up” and become a better “servant leader.”
- She’s still unhappy. He gives up on the program.
- He goes back to looking at porn. She has an affair.
- She files for divorce.
- She concludes her ex-husband broke the marriage bond first by committing adultery (lust / pornography).
- He concludes that his “sexual sin” drove away a good woman and tore apart his family.
- He passes this story on to other men. He warns them: “Don’t be a failure like I was.”
- Women understand the relationship needs better than men.
- All men struggle with lust, but they must fight against it.
The Dalrock Fanboy Story
- You are unhappy.
- She is cold and frigid.
- You face a heavy burden of leadership.
- You realize that she is sinning by not submitting to you.
- You tell her the Bible says she needs to submit.
- She does not submit.
- You conclude she is, by fundamental nature, opposed to your will.
- You learn a few “game” techniques to cope with her unpleasantness.
- You take comfort knowing other men face the same struggles. You privately feed off the undercurrent of bitter cynicism towards the sins of women.
- Man is called to lead; women are called to submit.
- Woman’s sinful nature prevents her from submitting.
This story is closer to the truth, but it cannot lead to victory. There is a third paradigm…
The Kingdom Story
- You are both unhappy.
- You have constant conflicts.
- She is rebellious. You feel like a failure.
- The sex dries up.
- You realize that the serpent has deceived your woman.
- You use your skill and strength to destroy the serpent’s work.
- You reclaim your kingdom.
- You become a king fit to rule in God’s kingdom.
- She becomes radiant and obtains imperishable beauty as she devotes herself to her savior-king.
- You live happily ever after (in bed).
- Women are malleable and submit to the one who conquers.
- Satan is crafty and has dethroned us and captured our women.
Think carefully on which paradigm you’re operating under. Where does the story end?
Are you choosing the story that leads to victory? Or are you protecting your own ego?
The prize belongs to the one who conquers.
Unfortunately, we need to be reminded…
Women wait and hope to be delivered from an undesirable situation.
Men change their situation through willpower.
Women make themselves attractive and hope to get noticed.
Men use aggression and ability to outperform other men.
Women wait for permission to act on sexual instincts.
Men unashamedly pursue their sexual instincts.
Women need security and safety.
Men need victory and challenge.
Women plunder and enjoy the spoils of a man’s conquest.
Men take risks to enlarge their dominion.
Women talk about how they feel.
Men make decisions and take decisive action.
Whether it is shameful for a woman to act masculine depends on the context. But it is always shameful for a man to act like a woman. Don’t take advice from anyone who shames your masculine instincts.
Don’t apologize for being a man.
A user over at the Red Pill Christians subreddit laments that the red pill is a bitter pill to swallow.
The further one progresses in red pill knowledge, the more one is aware of the tragic effect of feminism on the church and marriages. We may echo the sentiment of Ecclesiastes 1:18:
For in much wisdom is much grief,
And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
But we also need to keep things in perspective. We are experiencing a similar situation to what the prophet Isaiah warned ancient Israel:
“Say to the righteous that it shall be well with them,
For they shall eat the fruit of their doings.
Woe to the wicked! It shall be ill with him,
For the reward of his hands shall be given him.
As for My people, children are their oppressors,
And women rule over them.
My people! Those who lead you cause you to err,
And destroy the way of your paths.”
Those who do what God approves of by not submitting to women will be blessed. Either you will restore rightful relations with your wife or, at the least, you will receive your reward from God for teaching the truth to the next generation.
We can see that the world does not work well when women rule over us. It is women and feminist men in leadership that cause us to err and destroy the way of our paths. This is God’s judgment on us for forsaking our duty.
Yes, it can be depressing when we look around and find so few men are aware of this truth. Fewer still would even be willing to accept it.
But as Christ said,
Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.
If you find yourself rejoicing with the present world order, you’re not on the right side.
But if you find yourself truly saddened by the state of affairs, rest assured, the Kingdom of God will prevail.
I had the crazy idea of putting together a Christian manifesto based on, of all things, the virtues Christ himself told us to live by.
Specifically, these virtues come from The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7). I’ve deliberately rephrased the teachings in hopes of ridding the virtues from ambiguous theological baggage that’s become attached to the familiar words.
These are the 12 virtues of godly kings:
Virtue #1: Unity
We resolve our conflicts with fellow Christians. Even if that means letting our side go. Maintaining unity is more important than being right.
(Note: This does not mean Christians can’t have differences of opinions. But at the end of the day, we must at least “agree to disagree” and figure out how to carry on with the mission together. Also, this doesn’t mean a husband relinquishes his right and duty to headship in order to “submit” to his wife. Rather, he should take care to listen to and attempt to alleviate his wife’s concerns before moving forward with a necessary decision.)
Virtue #2: Marital Boundaries
We do not scheme to seduce another man’s wife. If a man should become obsessed with another man’s wife, it’s better to remove all possible contact with her than to risk being cast into hell.
Virtue #3: Married for Life
We do not divorce our wives, no matter how unpleasant she may be. We continue to provide for her and attempt to mould her into something beautiful.
Note: Promiscuity on the wife’s part is the only possible exception to this rule.
Virtue #4: Freedom to Serve God Alone
We do not make formal promises to the institutional church about what we will or will not do in the future. A simple “yes” or “no” in the moment is sufficient.
Virtue #5: Non-Resistant Warfare
When our enemy uses force against us, we willingly comply and even go “the extra mile.” In so doing, we “heap burning coals on their heads.”
Virtue #6: Loving Enemies
We willingly provide for the needs of those who are hostile towards us. We even pray for their repentance and salvation. Just as God sends the sun and rain upon the wicked as well as the righteous, so do we show no partiality in showing kindness. This is the most advanced virtue that makes us fully mature.
(NOTE: This is a personal ethic, not a political requirement of “open borders” or “globalization.”)
Virtue #7: Private Virtue
We do not virtue signal. Rather than publicly expressing our opinions in order to demonstrate our good character, we demonstrate our character to God by what we give and pray in secret.
Virtue #8: Kingdom First
We do not make retirement our life goal. We do not know when we will die or whether our earthly wealth will last. Therefore, accumulating wealth in hopes of future financial security is foolish. Instead, we seek to convert earthly wealth into Kingdom assets as quickly as possible.
(NOTE: This does not mean it is wrong to make, save, or invest money. It simply means we should manage our money in a way to maximize our Kingdom impact in the short time we have, understanding that God will provide for our physical needs when we prioritize His Kingdom. As a rule of thumb, assume you’ll live 70 years. How can you maximize your impact for God’s kingdom? Not by slaving your life away and saving all your money until 65!)
Virtue #9: The Rule of Mercy
When we hear of another’s plight, we choose to show mercy over condemnation. Mercy asks “what do they need?” Condemnation says “they deserve it!” Even when correction is what’s needed, we should be careful that we do not preach what we don’t practice, knowing that God will judge us by the same standard we judge others.
(NOTE: Showing mercy does not mean we automatically give money to any stranger or organization that asks. It is foolish to hand out money without first understanding the situation and getting to know the person asking for the money. If in doubt, it’s better to offer to provide the need directly rather than hand over money. Unsolicited offers from non-profits can safely be ignored.)
Virtue #10: Ask, Seek, Knock
We do not remain passive. We ask God to bless us and enlarge our dominion. We seek the wisdom and opportunities needed to expand our corner of the Kingdom. When we see an opportunity, we take action. We then use our blessings to bless others as we have been blessed.
Virtue #11: The Narrow Path
We do not follow “churchianity” or any other form of mainstream spirituality. We seek the narrow path of truth, however unpopular or unflattering that truth may be.
Virtue #12: Hatred for False Teachings
We give full attention to avoiding and even exposing those who, under the guise of being a Christian teacher or prophet, give false impressions about God’s Word. We recognize these false teachers by their “fruits” (i.e. tangible evidence of what they believe.)
The man who does these things and teaches others to do the same will be a bright light in the world indeed. He will be worthy of an everlasting dominion.
NOTE: These 12 virtues form the foundation for a Tumblr blog I started for my wife. It’s part of a larger experiment of mine to both replace my wife’s Facebook addiction and use social media and “infotainment” to teach biblical truths. Follow along if you’d like. You might get some ideas 🙂
I will feel like I’ve lived a life worth living if my writing can help men embrace the following two truths about life:
Truth #1: Women are easily deceived. A man should not trust a woman for advice.
Truth #2: A woman’s most powerful desire is to be bred and dominated by an alpha male.
Everything I write is really just theme and variation on those fundamental truths.
Coincidentally, you can approximate your rank (or potential rank) in the socio-sexual hierarchy based on how you responded to the above statements.
Alpha: **Shrugs and moves on.**
Beta: “Yes. I need to remember this.”
Delta: “I don’t know about that. I take advice from my wife all the time. She’s an intelligent woman. And a woman is not a sex object. You seem to be venturing into dangerous territory here.”
Gamma: “The socio-sexual hierarchy is based subjective judgments that have no scientific proof. I find it appalling that a blog that purports to give sex advice would force men into such arbitrary categories. Do you really think God would judge men by such standards? More likely, the author is simply trying to project an alpha persona to compensate for his insecurities. But he is clearly a poser who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. If he’s so alpha, why doesn’t he show a picture of his wife? Probably because she’s an ugly overweight cow. Ha! This guy is a joke.”
Omega: “Women are so stupid. Their suffering is well-deserved. Men are better off without them.”
Sigma: “Hmm… let me think about that…”
- Financial Success – build or acquire assets
- Sexual Success – optimize testosterone
- Leadership Success – recognize beliefs
The following post will come as either a welcomed warning or obnoxious preaching, depending on your maturity.
Go to the ant, O sluggard,
Observe her ways and be wise,
Which, having no chief,
Officer or ruler,
Prepares her food in the summer
And gathers her provision in the harvest.
How long will you lie down, O sluggard?
When will you arise from your sleep?
“A little sleep, a little slumber,
A little folding of the hands to rest”—
Your poverty will come in like a vagabond
And your need like an armed man.
Blackdragon recently published an article called “The Two Life Paths” that perfectly illustrates this proverb.
“Path A” is analogous to the path of the sluggard. This is the life path most people take. It goes something like this:
- Childhood – No Agency
- Teens – No Agency
- 20’s – Screw Up Your Life
- 30’s – Repair the Damage
- 40’s – Max Income, Max Expenses
- 50’s – “Oh Shit, I Have No Money!”
- 60’s and beyond – Poverty
“Path B” is analogous to the ant or the diligent man:
- Childhood – No Agency
- Teens – No Agency
- 20’s – Work Hard
- 30’s – Live a Great Life
- 40’s – Live a Great Life
- 50’s – Live a Great Life
- 60’s and beyond – Live a Great Life
The key difference is what you do in your 20’s during the phase when you have “no chief, officer, or ruler.”
It seems that when most people reach their 30’s and 40’s they have too much ego investment in their life decisions. So they double down on their efforts and tell younger men that this is “just how life is.” They are unable, or unwilling, to acknowledge that life didn’t have to be that hard.
And, like the bitter middle-age spinsters who try to sabotage the life of young pretty women by poisoning their minds with feminism, so too do older men sabotage the lives of younger men by stubbornly denying essential truths about women and money.
As I write this, I am 28 years old. The biggest mistakes I’ve made in my life are:
- Getting into debt ($30K for college, $5K for badly executed entrepreneurship)
- Blowing my extra cash on business opportunities instead of securing a “Screw You” Fund
- Getting married before I established my career (women cannot emotionally handle the turbulence a man must go through to find and establish the right career)
- Wasting 5 and a half years of my life for a (mostly) worthless college degree
But I didn’t screw up my life too bad because I still managed to:
- Avoid alcoholism
- Avoid having children out of wedlock
- Marry the right woman (i.e. hot, smart, and, when I’m not being a pussy, sexually attracted to me)
- Avoid drugs
- Break my video game addiction
- Avoid getting a felony
- Pay my bills one way or another and avoid filing for bankruptcy
- Find the right career path (in spite of my wife’s anxiety about not pursuing a “normal” career, I’m very close to establishing an ideal lifestyle career)
So I’d say I’m on the retarded ant path. I’ve got some things to fix, but I’m on my way.
I think the ideal path for a typical young man would be this:
- 20’s – maximize your SMV, establish your career
- 30’s – marry a hot woman who’s significantly younger than you (high fertility, and age difference makes submission easier)
- 40’s and beyond – live the good life and teach other young men to do the same
The remedial path would look like this:
- 20’s – Start the wrong career, marry the wrong woman
- 30’s – Secure a “Screw You” fund, learn new skills, change career; implement Dread Game (concludes in either reviving the bedroom or divorce)
- 40’s – Marry a younger woman or enjoy the revived bedroom; Escape the Rat Race and invest your money like a wealthy person (see Rich Dad, Poor Dad)
- 50’s and beyond – Live off of your passive income, teach young men to avoid the same mistakes you made
The stages might be delayed by a decade depending on how quickly one recognized, accepted, and took responsibility for his problems.
Obviously, the remedial path is much more difficult than the path of the diligent young man and the reward is not as great. Hence the reason few people do it… and the reason most red pilled men prefer to spend their time complaining instead of fixing their lives.
Make of this what you will.