Today’s sexual Christian man faces a double challenge:
First, he must reclaim his balls from the matriarchy.
Second, he must teach his wife how to respond sexually to a man.
Neither of these tasks are easy. Both will probably be the most difficult challenges of your life.
Though it won’t make your task easier per se, it might be encouraging to know that it’s not your fault. Marriage was never intended to be this difficult.
God’s design is that older women should teach the younger women how to please their husbands:
Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. (Titus 2:3-5)
Our mothers and grandmothers have dishonored the word of God by neglecting to teach their daughters to love their husbands. Instead, they taught their daughters to be independent from man. And they taught their sons to be the neutered “nice guy” who supplicates women.
And our fathers and grandfathers have dishonored the word of God by allowing their wives to plant the seeds of feminist rebellion and emasculation right under their own roofs.
Nevertheless, a godly man cannot continue to dishonor God. We should strive to be the righteous son that God praises in Ezekiel 18:
Now behold, he has a son who has observed all his father’s sins which he committed, and observing does not do likewise.
Yes, marriage is difficult. And most of it is not our fault. We followed the script and did what we were told. Sexual frustration and marital strife is the fruit of the so-called “wisdom” we’ve received.
But we should not become embittered. This is the test of our faith. As James says:
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Day by day, you persevere.
Little by little, you become a better man.
And one day, you may find that you have at last subdued your wife and restored happiness to the bedroom.
This is your trial, the test of your faith.
If you can persevere in a modern marriage, your faith will be made perfect and you will earn the crown of life.
The fate of Western civilization is in the hands of millennial men.
Nickolas Sinko describes the crises facing Western millennials today:
We have inherited a broken West. Communism is knocking on our door yet again, cultural Marxism has infiltrated the roots of our educational institutions, resentment for capitalism is growing, and the left has taken their post-modern identity politics to the extreme. The salt in the wound is that the only ones who can save the west, millennial men, have been emasculated by feminism and are lost in a crisis of identity.
He then goes on to offer 5 ways millennial men can get their act together and save the West. I thought it was a good list so I’d like to offer my own take on it as it might apply for Christian men.
Think if this as a checklist for making sure you’re not conforming to the world in our present times.
#1) Recognize that the West is still the best place to be a Christian
In spite of all the divisions and problems we’ve had in the church, there is no place on earth that gives so much dignity to human beings. Any individual is free to create the life he imagines. You are not bound by a caste system. The government doesn’t dictate how many children you can have or what you can and can’t do with your life. This freedom is a tremendous blessing for those who wish to follow God’s commandment to “be fruitful and multiply” and “subdue the earth.”
Let’s not squander that freedom by being seduced into believing such “West is evil” nonsense. Is it perfect? No. But where else would you rather live?
Recommended Resource: Voxiversity (when it finally comes out).
#2) Reject feminism
A woman wants to be with a man who is superior to her. A man ought to be smarter and stronger (both physically and emotionally) than his wife. Know that to reject your masculinity is a grievous sin that God puts on par with whoring, idolatry, adultery, and drunkenness… all of which are unworthy to inherit God’s Kingdom (1 Cor 6:9-10).
Recommended Resource: The Married Red Pill Reading List (Sidebar)
#3) Know the enemy
Today’s man has to be equipped to fight against the “Social Justice Warriors.” Expect the battle to get worse. Better prepare yourself now before you find yourself the victim of one of their attacks.
Recommended Resource: Vox Day’s SJWs Always Lie and SJWs Always Double Down
#4) Persuade others to embrace the truth
Not everyone is an SJW. Some people will believe the truth if presented effectively. Free speech is perhaps the greatest blessing given to us in the West. Let us not be fearful to both live and speak the truth. But we should also be shrewd. As Jesus instructed his disciples, we need to be as “innocent as doves” and “wise as serpents.”
- The Bible… especially The Apostles’ Letters (innocent as doves). I recommend this one and this one.
- Scott Adam’s Win Bigly (wise as serpents)
#5) Become Antifragile
We don’t know exactly what the future holds. But it’s a sure bet that institutions are going to crumble, companies will collapse, jobs will be lost. But this could be good news for you, if you’re set up to benefit from chaos and disruption. The leaders of the next generation will be the men who are most outcome independent. Anything less is just being a sissy.
Recommended Resource: Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s Antifragile
Whether you like it or not, the future of our children depends on whether or not us young men can get our balls back. So gird up your loins like a man! It’s going to be a wild ride.
You hear the term “sex addiction” thrown around a lot today and it always makes me chuckle.
Unless you’re a super alpha male with several wives and a concubine, it’s hard to imagine a man having so much sex that he’s unable to function in his other responsibilities.
For most mortal men, I don’t think it’s possible to be a “sex addict” within the confines of a traditional marriage.
Every time you inseminate your woman, you are doing your God-given duty as a man. Why put a limit on it if God Himself didn’t give a limit?
I think what most men mean when they worry about a “sex addiction” is really just unfulfilled horniness. Men feel guilty because they feel like they’d like to release their semen on a daily basis and often resort to using the self-release valve.
Unfortunately, modern Churchianity makes men feel like they are sinning for being horny and resorting to the only means they are presently able to use to get relief.
So rather than praising the male sex drive as a positive thing and encouraging men to discipline themselves so they can fulfill their sexual desires, we are instead told that it is our “sin nature” that is “lusting” for these things. We are told not to be “selfish” in our desire for sex.
I can’t imagine a more demotivating narrative for a man.
It takes a lot of work to get sex in our feminist age, even as a married man. You’ve got to unplug from the lies, you’ve got to study female sexuality, you’ve got to make yourself more attractive, you’ve got to become more confident, etc. If the narrative motivating you is to merely “refrain from sinning” I doubt you’ll ever find the motivation to change. If you believe you’re a sinner, you’ll continue to “sin.”
Instead, you need to look at your wife and think about how badly she needs your semen, the “living water” that springs forth from your loins. You’re doing her a favor every time you fuck her. You are fulfilling your duty as a man.
You will cut down every form of resistance that prevents her from accepting your gift.
Your sexuality is a river that cannot be dammed. Your wife is a dry dessert thirsting for water. It is your God-given duty to saturate her with living water and bring forth vitality in her body.
Contrary to popular belief, the Bible does encourage you to indulge in pleasure now instead of later:
“Catch the foxes for us, The little foxes that are ruining the vineyards, While our vineyards are in blossom.” (Song 2:15)
In the Song of Solomon, the vineyard symbolized the body. The “foxes” refer to the aging process that ruin the vineyards.
While you are young, while your vineyards are “in blossom” is the time to enjoy sexual pleasure to it’s fullest extent.
Don’t get so caught up in the busyness of life that you let this scarce gift of God slip you buy.
For a modern expression of this sentiment, I believe the chorus from the hit song “We Are Young” captures the proper sense of youthful exuberance and urgency:
Tonight, we are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun
Tonight, you are young. Let your passion for her burn bright. Set her world on fire.
I saw an interesting article on Return of Kings titled, “Would the World Be Safer for Women if They Were Declared the Legal Property of Men?”
As offensive as it sounds to our feminist culture, the vision presented in the article is probably a lot closer to God’s design than what we’re living with now. Certainly one of the most culturally offensive teachings in the Bible is that a woman (like a child) is the property of a man:
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” – Exodus 20:17
Along with the “women as sex objects” rhetoric, I think the negative “women as property” rhetoric is another critical blow Satan has made to emasculate the church.
Notice how the term “property” would normally be a good thing. If something is your property it means you take care of it. It’s something that you protect. You want it to grow and be more fruitful.
But, as Satan always does, he has twisted God’s teaching into an exaggerated restriction. He says that if a woman is the property of a man, it means she is “less than human” and “unable to think for herself.”
All of this is part of the wicked agenda to replace God with woman.
In a woman-worshipping world, we no longer have “adultery” (taking what God has given to another man). Instead, we have “cheating” (not being faithful to your wife.)
We no longer have “coveting” (desiring to take away what belongs to another man). Instead, we have a perverted definition of “lust” which makes it a sin to “objectify” women or have fleeting sexual thoughts about any woman you’re not married to.
We no longer consider fornication (pre-marital sex) a sin because it violates a man’s daughter and drastically lowers the chance of him having a blessed lineage (the single mother problem). Instead, it is a sin because it violates a woman’s body.
As soon as you take away a man’s belief that the women in his life are his property, you remove all responsibility. He never shapes his wife into the beautiful and godly woman she could have been. He considers his daughters free agents, able to make their own choices without intervention (which usually means getting pregnant by an irresponsible alpha male.)
He does not direct and discipline his wife and daughters because he does not think he has the right. He sees them as his peers to “get along with” rather than as his assets which must be tended to.
And in spite of what feminists would have you believe, it is not just “misogynistic” men who want to make women their property.
There is a growing number of women who are longing to go back to being a man’s property. To give an extreme example, one of the more popular fantasies among women involves forms of “degradation.” Stuff like where the woman is kept in a cage, walked on a leash like a dog, slapped in the face, whipped, and humiliated in a variety of other ways.
Obviously, this is not how a Christian should treat his wife. But I think we’re starting to see the reaction against the Satanic feminist agenda. After tasting the bitter fruits of feminism, many women are secretly longing to be “dehumanized” by a man and treated like trash rather than face their consequences as an independent woman.
Once again it is only true gospel living that can present the beautiful picture of both dominion and submission that men and women so desperately crave.
I read an interesting post the other week on the Blackdragon blog.
It’s about a simple chart for identifying where you are on the Alpha/Beta scale. Not only is it a very simple and useful framework for tracking personal development, he also provides a precise definition of a “total pussy”… in case you needed to know that sort of thing.
Your placement depends on two attributes: confidence and outcome independence.
There are three possible categories: Beta, Alpha 1.0, and Alpha 2.0.
The beta male is neither confident nor outcome independent. He is timid and fearful about all the details of his life. And if he has absolutely ZERO confidence in his abilities and worries EVERY TIME he faces any level of uncertainty then he is, technically speaking, a total pussy.
The Alpha 1.0 male is confident but not outcome independent. He is generally successful but his ego is deeply tied to what others say or do.
The Alpha 2.0 male is confident and outcome independent. He doesn’t care what anyone else does because he’s too busy getting laid, working on his mission, and enjoying life.
I see a lot of similarities between the Alpha 2.0 male and the wise son in the book of Proverbs.
The man who follows wisdom is confident (because he knows he is righteous and that God is on his side) and he is outcome independent (because he fears God’s opinion more than the opinion of people.) He has great sex (Pr 5:19) and has a pleasant life that is relatively free of difficulties (Pr 15:19).
Really, the attitude I’m trying to perfect in myself and teach on this blog is very similar to the “Alpha 2.0” attitude taught by Blackdragon. The main difference being that I don’t advocate whoremongering and I believe that a woman can (and should) be molded to a point where a man can have sexual satisfaction within a monogomous marriage. The shaping of the woman to suit your desire is really the point of the marriage. Getting laid is just the immediate reward.
Captain Capitalism has a good explanation why Millennials went a step above and beyond normal degeneracy to become the worst generation America ever produced:
[Millennials have a] complete fear, abhorrence, and envy of beauty… [Beauty is] making oneself attractive. It is selfless because you have to work hard at it, it takes effort, and it’s not fun. And you’re doing it for other people. Now, of course you’re doing it because you want to get other people. Women would like to get an attractive stable man. Men would like to get a hot attractive woman. The millennials have gone running away like scaredy-cats from the effort and toil that is required of [beauty.] This shit like “fat acceptance” and mutilating yourselves…taking pride in traits you were born with or bad habits like obesity… Millennials as a whole are so lazy and such cowards that instead of going to the gym, instead of putting on a decent haircut and (ladies) doing yourself up and putting on some heels and putting on a nice dress… Doing the simple courtesy of putting forth some effort into working out, hygiene, and not making yourself look like a complete fuckin’ freak when you present yourself in public…
If you’re a millennial like myself, you have to unplug from this backwards way of thinking. There are standards of what makes a man attractive and what makes a woman attractive.
We are not victims of our genetics or our environment. Most attraction factors are well within our control.
Simply committing to the process of becoming a more attractive man (both physically and mentally) will give you legitimate reason to feel good about yourself and stand out from the low standards of our generation. If we want our wives to be more feminine, we have to take the lead by becoming more masculine.
A good place to start is by taking this test.
And if you need some encouragement, you can be thankful that (hopefully) feminism hasn’t done anything like this to your wife.
Dalrock makes a pointed observation on current programs marketed to Christian men:
Men are sold on the program with the promise of finally becoming a respected man:
This is man stuff! Finally, I’ll become a man!
But those who market to conservative Christians know that wives are firmly in the driver’s seat in modern Christian marriage. The husband isn’t the decision maker, and his thoughts don’t matter very much. What matters is what the boss thinks. To sell their books, videos, programs, etc, they need to appeal directly to the head of the modern Christian family, the wife.
In one sense, the promise of this blog is nothing new. It’s about becoming a better and more respected man. The difference is that I assume that you should NOT ask your wife permission to read or do anything I recommend.
You are not a child. She is not your mother. You don’t need her blessing to do what you know is right.
One of the most useful lessons I ever learned was how to recognize and manage my ego.
I thought it’d be helpful to contrast ego vs. wisdom in the context of a red pill Christian marriage. As with all my posts, I’m writing this for myself as much as anyone. So don’t accuse me of having an ego problem for telling you how to manage yours 😉
Ego tells us that venting about our marriage frustrations counts as progress.
Wisdom reminds us to quietly get to work on the things we know we need to improve.
Ego tells us we’re being a good husband when our wife gives us her approval.
Wisdom reminds us that her praise does not necessarily indicate progress.
Ego tells us that we just need to learn a few marriage game “hacks” and we can be on our way.
Wisdom reminds us that we must be a continuous student of the bible, game, red pill philosophy, etc. if we’re going to have a happy marriage.
Ego tells us that we’re a “high sex drive” man merely because we feel horny every day.
Wisdom reminds us that if we really want to have a lot of sex, we must find a realistic strategy to obtain it.
Ego tells us that our wife should understand how much we want/need sex.
Wisdom reminds us that if we first unlock her “fountain”, we can drink until we are satiated.
Ego tells us we have a right to be hurt/offended when our wife disrespects us.
Wisdom reminds us that she is like a petulant child in need of guidance and getting upset does us no good.
Ego tells us that we are basically an alpha male because we’ve taken the red pill.
Wisdom reminds us that we need to improve ourselves in tangible ways to back up our aspirations.
Ego tells us that the attraction factors we already possess naturally are enough to get us by.
Wisdom reminds us that if we don’t put in the work to improve ourselves, we will become less attractive over time.
Ego tells us to wait until we have the perfect solution before we attempt to start playing the marriage game.
Wisdom reminds us to get in the game now and make adjustments as we go.
Sex and video games have a lot in common if you think about it.
They both give you a dopamine rush without having to leave the comfort of your home. Men spend an inordinate thinking about both activities. And you can enjoy both activities solo, online, or with a friend (oops…wait….)
In all seriousness though, video games can teach us something.
A video game is really a perfect encapsulation of what real life should be like. It has a series of progressively challenging goals, it tests the outer limits of your ability, and you get immediate feedback on whether you’re winning or losing.
Contrast that to the typical Christian marriage:
You don’t have any goals other than vague spiritual mantras like “be more holy” or “demonstrate Christ’s love.” We never feel like we’re making any progress. It doesn’t seem to challenge us in any way other than to test how much drama and sexual frustration we can endure. And the only “feedback” we have is whether our wife is happy which, if we’re honest, doesn’t indicate anything reliable.
This is why trying to get laid is, frankly, not very fun. It can feel more like a chore than a game. It’s why picking up the controller for another round is, in the short-run, always more appealing than trying to “game” your wife.
But I believe this is only because we’ve been conditioned to approach married sex in a way that is counter-productive and boring. The key to marital bliss is we need to advance from merely playing games designed by others to designing our own game to play… the game of marriage.