In order for a man to become a king, he must claim his territory.
By nature, you cannot have two men occupying the same position. You cannot have two men ruling the same household.
It is for this reason that a man needs the spirit of the Warrior.
The world is mostly run by evil emperors who are fueled by greed. If they had it their way, you would simply remain a cog in their profit machine. They may “allow” you to marry, but they’d rather you not claim your woman by regularly “plowing her field” and seeding her.
No. Conquering a woman produces too much confidence in a man.
And they certainly don’t want you ruling your own household… let alone leading a tribe of people.
Warriors are a threat to established order. Because warriors mark out territory where the established rule is weak and claim it for themselves. Or rather, they claim it for THE King and rule over it on His behalf.
What would the established emperors do if there were thousands of kings ruling over their own little kingdoms? The consolidation of power would be lost.
But these emperors have a major flaw in their defense: they are fragile. They do not respond well to change. In fact, they try their damnedest to suppress it.
But they cannot stop it. For change is the way of life.
And so it is that the Warrior has an opportunity to claim a new domain.
The emperors attempt to keep the populace in fear of change. “Change is a threat to your way of life” they say.
But the Warrior sees opportunity.
Every significant change reveals a crack in the Empire’s armor. One that a well-prepared warrior can exploit.
The warrior is more mature than the mere skirmisher. The skirmisher is simply looking for a fight. He demands revolution and wants change now.
The warrior recognizes that warfare is about preparation and waiting for the opportune time to act. The warrior waits patiently for his time. In some cases, this patience can even span multiple generations of preparation.
The warrior spends most of his time waiting, but he must not hesitate to seize new territory when the opportunity arises.
Practically speaking, the warrior devotes himself to the following areas of preparation:
- Physical training – a warrior must remain fit so that he has energy to act when opportunity arises
- Spiritual training – defining what you believe, based on your own study, and enduring shame from those who hate the truth. The man who’s conscience is bound to the opinions of others is not fit to rule.
- Trends – both technological and social. Changes create holes. A hole is an opportunity for a new king to arise.
- Antifragility – setting up yourself and your household to benefit from stress rather than break. This applies to every area of your life: your beliefs, finances, education, health, everything.
The warrior spends most of his time in preparation. It is not expedient to attack before the establishment begins to crumble. But he certainly does not hesitate when the time is ripe.
Carpe diem – “seize the day.”
What is the root of masculine greatness?
If kingship is what man is destined for, then there must be an immature belief in that destiny before it actualizes.
To an unbelieving world, it sounds selfish, egotistical, and even narcissistic to claim that you, as a man, are destined for kingship and are the rightful ruler of your household.
Nevertheless, it is the word of God.
A boy intuitively gets this. He dreams of his kingdom and imagines what he will become when he “grows up.” He imagines slaying the dragon and saving the girl.
Tragically, what most men become when they grow up is mediocre. Boyhood dreams of conquest are set aside as “selfish.” They get busy working hard to be a good employee, a good dad, a good husband.
Meanwhile they look on enviously as “selfish” “narcissistic” men get whatever they want from life.
Narcissist is an interesting term.
In common usage, when we refer to someone as a “narcissist” we usually mean that that they have an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.
Few would argue that it’s wrong to have self-interest or self-esteem. The man constantly plagued with doubts of his abilities will not get far in life. And anyone who claims purely altruistic motives is probably delusional.
The ambiguity is at what point does it become “excessive”? Wherever ambiguity exists, a plethora of guilt manipulators will arise to tell you just how selfish you’re being.
Feminists will shame you for your “toxic masculinity” and your “egotistical insecurities” when you attempt to take charge of your household.
Churches will shame you for your supposed “self worship” and call you to sacrifice your own interests to be a “servant leader.”
And your family will always define you by some past identity that they knew you as… the unathletic one, the nerd, the disobedient child, the compliant student, the “sweet boy” etc. … never acknowledging that you were meant to grow into something greater, something entirely your own.
Any attempt to rise above mediocrity and become a king will be shamed as self-centered and even narcissistic from nearly every influence in your life.
The world respects established kings. But they are hostile to future kings.
No one seems to know exactly what a narcissist is. But it’s a word that triggers strong reactions.
Personally, I like Ivan Throne’s poetic definition of the positive side of narcissism:
Narcissism is the driven, hardened vision of a man who believes in his own future achievement with such force, drive and experienced, focused mind that reality itself shimmers and shifts, and accords with his vision the way time and space curve in the presence of mass.
–The Nine Laws, p. 160
This is a fundamental truth a man must accept about the world:
The world is full of insecure people who will follow narcissists… for good or for ill.
That includes your wife and children.
Any man who would become a king must spend a large amount of time thinking about himself… who he is meant to become… what he needs to achieve. Then he must project confidence in his future achievements.
Some will call this narcissism. Let them.
An undefined man can offer nothing of value to the world. He is only a pawn in the power schemes of other kings.
Note: This is the first installment of a special series on core masculinity concepts. I intend to eventually edit these posts and turn them into an ebook. Tentative title: Think Like a Man. Feel free to leave feedback in the comments.
The core essence of man is the imago dei – the image of God.
If we fail to grasp this concept, we will fail to understand what it means to be a man.
In Hebrew, the image of God is two concepts joined together:
tselem – something “cut out” and thus bearing resemblance to the thing it was cut out from
Elohim – expresses Yahweh (God) as in charge, the Creator, the all-powerful ruler who establishes the scenes of life.
Man was “cut out” of Elohim when He breathed His spirit into man’s lifeless body. And so it is that man’s core instinct is to create, to rule, and order his environment to his liking. He was created from the very spirit of God – the Supreme Creator and All-Powerful Ruler of the universe.
In short, we can refer to this as the “King” archetype.
A king wants to create life… and so he seeks out fertility: fertile ground, fertile minds, fertile women.
A king wants to rule over his environment… so he studies the world and learns to classify and conceptualize so he can better control and arrange his environment.
And a good king wants to bless… so he seeks out subjects underneath him and gives them his praise and approval for their good qualities. He empowers them to grow and thrive according to their design.
Never underestimate the blessing of a king. The blessing of a king is the difference between wealth and poverty, happiness and misery, and, in some cases, even life and death.
Every man has the power to be a king. Few men tap into that power.
And man’s core power is this:
He can change his environment in order to bring forth fruit.
Further reading: King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine
We certainly live in interesting times and I’ve no doubt it’s about to get much more interesting.
The great military strategist John Boyd taught that the key to strategic advantage is the ability to orient yourself to new situations faster than your opponent.
There are some rising trends that I (and people much smarter than myself) have been tracking that I expect will result in some massive culture shifts.
Most people will be caught completely off guard. They’ll experience so much cognitive dissonance they won’t be able to act or adapt.
But, hey, since you’re a smart person and read my blog, you won’t have to be surprised 🙂
Even if this stuff doesn’t come to pass as I predict, the trends behind the predictions are already in motion. It’s a good exercise to at least prepare yourself.
Keep in mind, I’m not passing judgment yet on whether these things are good or bad. The first step is awareness.
The 3 major shifts:
Culture Shift #1: Massive existential crisis
Automation will leave most people with no work to do. At least no work in the traditional sense of somebody telling them what to do. The work that is done will be self-defined and creative. But few people are prepared to make that shift.
The people who own the machines that replace workers will become insanely wealthy and will be heavily taxed.
Assuming the government doesn’t let the masses starve to death, most people will live on a “basic income” provided to them from the tax revenue.
With no pre-defined work for people to do, there will be a great hunger for meaning.
Spiritual teachers will be in high demand and will be able to earn a comfortable living off of their teaching… for better or for worse.
Culture Shift #2: Virtual tribes
This is already happening. But I think it will become more common in the near future.
People are interacting less and less with their physical neighborhoods. Nowadays, you can even earn your income online.
People still seek community, but they seek community by beliefs rather than geography.
The red pill is great example of this. I only know one “real life” person who is red pilled. Yet I’ve interacted with dozens of red pilled men online.
Sooner or later though, people crave face-to-face fellowship. So meetups are organized. People travel to a location to meet like-minded people.
In the future, I doubt local community will be important. Less people will own homes. The ease and lowered cost of travel will give rise to a more nomadic lifestyle… at least in the early stage of people’s lives.
People will form “tribes” that initially congregate online. Later, they will meetup in the flesh. And perhaps later, they will even form a physical community and live together.
Communities will be determined not by where you were born, but by what you believe.
Culture Shift #3: Breakdown of the nuclear family
By “nuclear family” I mean one father, one mother, and one or more children. Some will still live like this, but it will no longer be the norm.
The majority of men have been pussified through propaganda and a variety of testosterone sapping schemes. This leaves the majority of men undesirable to women.
And yet hypergamy and the instinct to breed still drives women. So we have the “alpha fucks” and “beta bucks” phenomenon on a widespread scale.
MGTOWers are realizing it’s a shitty deal to be a beta buck and are deciding to opt out of marriage and women altogether.
So we have a bit of a problem here.
Every woman wants to get pregnant. Most men are undesirable and/or unwilling to perform the task.
Severe shortage of men.
Logically, there will be two types of women in the future:
- Those that want an long-term relationship with the father
- Those that don’t
Those who don’t want an LTR with the father, will become either single mothers or have some sort of “open relationship” arrangement that pairs her with a beta provider or two while she fucks alphas on the side.
Maybe she lives with her parents or girlfriends or whatever.
Point is, it’s anything but a nuclear family of father, mother, children.
On the other hand, some (many?) women will see the value of being paired with her child’s father.
But this young woman will face a crisis.
80%+ of men are undesirable. They are lazy slobs who don’t have a mission, watch porn and play video games all day, and would rather use a sex doll than a real woman to relieve themselves.
And of the 20% or less of men who are desirable, most of them are not prepared for fatherhood. Either they are choosing to delay marriage or they are not mature enough to be a parent.
And so most women who wish to find a husband and father for her children will be unable to do so.
On a cultural level (not the individual level) monogamy and the nuclear family is fragile. It will not be able to withstand the upcoming changes.
This raises some serious questions. Especially if you’re a parent.
I’m going to guess that the following two statements are true for most men:
- Men do not want to be porn addicts
- Men do not want to spend 30+ minutes “warming up” a woman every time they feel horny
The two statements are more related than I realized.
Most sex advice I’ve read emphasizes the importance of taking your time with the woman, making sure she’s comfortable, pleasuring her body to get her in the mood, etc.
This is obviously not the instinctual preference of a young man. When a young man is on, he’s like a rutting buck… ready to mount as soon as opportunity presents itself.
The Christian sex manuals I’ve read emphasize that learning to slow down and pleasure a woman is part of learning sacrificial love and patience.
There may be some truth to that.
I think this advice is harmful when it’s presented as the primary sexual strategy for a married man.
I’ve noticed that there are two “schools of thought” when it comes to arousing a woman:
- Focus on her pleasure
- Focus on your pleasure
Both of these approaches can work. But the first is difficult to sustain.
It takes tremendous willpower to spend an hour “warming up” a woman night after night.
Willpower rapidly depletes over time. Maybe you can pull it off a night or two. But if it takes that much heavy lifting to get a woman ready, it’s just not a sustainable strategy.
The more a man tries to please his woman, the more frustrated he gets and the more likely he is to be driven back to porn.
Now, I’ll confess: In terms of skill, I am not very good in the bedroom (yet.) I have good frame control and can keep the desire alive, but my bedroom performance is rather dull.
Whenever I try to please her, it doesn’t go well. But I’ve noticed that whenever I focus on my pleasure–even with my lackluster skills– she ends up having a good time.
From a red pilled perspective, this makes sense. We know that women desire to be used by a man. So when a man takes raw primal pleasure in her body, it’s going to be arousing to her.
Now here’s where things get interesting:
Most pornography is a Type 1 fantasy. It’s all about her pleasure.
The camera is centered on the woman the whole time and she’s moaning and groaning. The man is in the background and contributes nothing more to the scene than a ridiculously sized plowing tool.
Based on my experience and what I’ve read in the manosphere, this is not at all how real women behave during sex.
Porn is designed to appeal to the ultimate beta male fantasy:
Pleasure a woman to ecstasy. Cut out the boring 30+ minutes of foreplay.
Contrast this to the erotica that women read:
The man takes primal pleasure in the woman. He uses her body when and how he pleases. The sexual encounters are centered on the man and his primal urges.
While men are often vilified in Christian circles for looking at pornography, the irony is that porn is just reinforcing the same message men get in the church: the pussy and her pleasure is the focal point of the sexual relationship.
Men are told to “sacrifice” their pleasure and instincts in order to please their wives.
Ironically, this leaves both parties unfulfilled and frustrated.
If we truly want to help men overcome their porn addictions, we shouldn’t shame them for wanting to look at.
We should make fun of porn. And not just porn, but all ineffective sexual strategies that place the pussy on a pedestal.
It’s only when men begin focusing on their own pleasure that we will finally have happy women.
Btw, my posting frequency on this blog may slow down for a bit. Focusing on growing an audience on Twitter. I’m at 210 followers right now. If I can get up to 500 in the next several weeks, I’ll take that as validation that I’ve got a good message-audience match. If you come here looking for updates, you can read my compressed thoughts on Twitter.
One thing you all may or may not know about me is I’m a hardcore productivity nerd. This is stereotypical of the INTJ personality type.
Even as young as 10 years old, I was jotting down thoughts in my notebook, trying to figure out the best practice routine to become good enough to become an NBA basketball player. (That goal didn’t quite materialize obviously, but the process was valuable.)
I’ve experimented with dozens of productivity systems over the years and all of them have proven to be ineffective at dealing with the demands of the 21st century man. It’s been an intriguing, yet frustrating journey.
But a few months ago, I finally found someone who’s really figuring it out. How to actually produce value in an age of endless distractions and “information overload” without closing yourself off to opportunities.
His name is Tiago Forte.
His writing is rather detailed, so if you’re not a productivity nerd like myself, you may find it difficult to get into. But his solutions are simple and effective.
I’d like to share two key lessons and thoughts I’ve taken away as result of studying his stuff. (I’m blending some of my red pill perspective to his concepts here, so don’t take this as an accurate summary of his work.)
Lesson #1: Define your projects, or someone else will define them for you
Defining your own mission is Masculinity 101. But after studying Tiago’s work, I’ve decided it’s more useful to say define your projects.
Projects are more tangible than a mission. Projects are what we actually spend a good portion of our lives on. So if someone else is defining your projects, it means someone else is controlling your life.
An eye-opening exercise is to write down all the projects your working on now and then see if you can map your projects to a goal that you’ve defined.
Many times, we work on projects that have no goal attached to them… or at least, no goal of our own.
A few common examples:
Are you doing yard work because your wife wanted you to… or because you set the goal of upgrading your yard?
Do you complete all the assigned projects from your boss because you’re afraid of getting fired… or because it’s helping you move towards a career goal that you set for yourself?
Are you changing your diet because someone shamed you for your bad health habits… or because you set a goal that requires you to be healthy?
Tragically, most men spend their lives working on projects that advance the goals of other men, but not their own.
Awareness is the first step to changing that.
Lesson #2: There is no value in “getting things done”
Tiago opened my eyes to the fact that their are 3 common “schools” of productivity:
The Energy School – keep your energy level high so you can complete your tasks. Eat healthy, work out, etc.
The Focus School – get yourself into a state of flow and stay there as long as you can. Cut out distractions. Block out large chunks of time.
The Efficiency School – cut out all unnecessary activities to save time and money. Automate and eliminate.
All of these schools of thought have their merits. But the underlying flaw is that they all focus on completing tasks without taking into account the value that is created from completing the tasks.
In the 21st century, it’s becoming increasingly risky to undertake large projects. The flow of information is so rapid, that by time you complete a project, it might no longer be relevant. Or you discover that no one cared in the first place.
Furthermore, a “task” is nothing but an abstract unit with no inherent value. If someone came and deleted your task list, would your work be destroyed? No.
The value of your work is what you deliver to someone else. Not the tasks you completed or your task list.
This is why Tiago advocates a 4th “school” of productivity:
The Value School – deliver value in smaller chunks. Create the smallest unit of value you can and show it to someone.
This is one reason I started using Twitter. I have lots of ideas in my head that are never “released” simply because of the time and effort it takes to write a post. Some of those ideas might add value to someone’s life, but I’d never know if I never released it.
Or some of my ideas might be bad ideas, but I’d never know until I release it and get feedback.
Even with my sloppy quick-hit style posts, I still need to have a minimum of 10-15 minutes focus to release my ideas into the wild. That takes too much energy to do for every notable idea. But with Twitter, I can release a complete idea in less than 1 minute and get feedback on it.
Don’t measure your productivity by tasks complete. Measure it by value delivered.
Alright. Enough nerding out. Go follow me on Twitter if you want to extract as much value from my brain as your heart desires.
It seems that my recent tweet is striking a chord with a lot of men:
This is well on it’s way to becoming my most popular tweet yet.
Men are tired of being slaves.
Perhaps it is time to revive the ancient vision of the “land flowing with milk and honey.”
For more masculine vision, check out my Twitter page. There are currently 163 cool/smart people following me. And you want to be cool too, right?
As a follow up to yesterday’s post, I thought this “No Reason to Hit a Woman” bit from comedian Bill Burr would be appropriate:
The clip contains profanity so keep the children out of the room (unless swearing is a family pastime.)
Criminals only respond to law and punishment.
Non-criminals do not need to be reprimanded.
If someone is trying to “persuade” you to avoid evil, something fishy is going down.
There’s a rarely discussed passage tucked away in 1 Timothy that has the power to set a man free from bondage.
It took me awhile to recognize how pervasive this practice is. It’s worth pondering.
Some have strayed from [love] and turned aside to empty talk. They want to be teachers of the Law, but they do not understand what they are saying or that which they so confidently assert. Now we know that the Law is good, if one uses it legitimately. We realize that law is not enacted for the righteous, but for the lawless and rebellious (1 Tim 1:6-9)
One of the earliest tells of a manipulator (or victim of manipulation) is that they will take a law intended for criminals, and twist it in order to shame normal people (or themselves.)
A modern example of this is “toxic masculinity.”
“Toxic masculinity” is a concept that only applies to criminals: wife beaters, rapists, violent gangs, etc.
Normal men do not wish to harm a woman. The warning is entirely unnecessary.
Yet the rhetoric is used to shame ordinary men into thinking there is something wrong with them.
Sensitive souls can be beaten down by treating them like criminals.
My percussion professor in college was a wise man. He would often speak in paradoxes.
Often, as he would stand in front of the ensemble and deliver a verbal flogging, he would close with this remark:
“If you’re worried about this, you’re not the one I’m talking to.”
Severe warnings are only necessary for the rebellious.
You’ll read a lot on the manosphere about the importance of having or purpose or “mission.”
And I realized:
A lot men are constantly wondering, “Great, but how in the hell do I find it?”
Some guys simply say getting in shape is your mission, or making money, or whatever your trying to improve.
For some men, that can work. But if you’re like me, you need something more compelling than self-improvement to motivate you to stick through the tough times.
Here’s a simple method I recently came up with for discovering your true purpose.
- Ask yourself what you want to improve
- Ask yourself “why?” until you can answer no further
The answer you’re left with is what is truly driving your actions. The sooner you admit and embrace this drive, the sooner you’ll find your personal power.
“I want to lose weight.”
“So I become more attractive to my wife/women.”
“Because I want to have more sex.”
“I don’t know. There’s just something deeply satisfying about penetrating a woman and releasing my seed.”
There’s your purpose.
People tend to focus on deficiencies rather than purpose.
If the story you’re telling yourself is “I need to lose weight” or “I need to make more money” or whatever, you’ll quickly give up when things get difficult.
“Be a better person” is not a compelling (or honest) motive.
Neither is “glorify God and enjoy him forever.”
These are pseudo-purposes that make you feel like you’re a good person, yet give you no real power to change.
Which sounds more compelling? Losing a few pounds? Or penetrating a woman with the raw, unhindered strength of a warrior?
Which one are you visualizing as you improve yourself?
(And, last I checked, constant sexual activity with your woman is one of the most godly purposes a man can pursue (c.f. Ephesians 5; 1 Cor 7, et al))
Focus on the purpose, not the deficiencies.
Embrace what you truly want, even it seems “selfish” or “juvenile.”
It’s the only thing that will truly motivate you to become a better man.
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