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One of the most popular threads at Grace Centered’s Christian Men Sexual Topics forum is about oral sex.

A man says his wife is resenting him for asking for oral sex almost every day. She wants more romance in the marriage. She wants him to be more sensitive to her needs… not just sexual, but physical and emotional as well.

He said a few years ago, his wife asked him if he would like to receive oral every morning when he woke up. Of course he was thrilled with the idea.

But now she only gives him oral once every few weeks and they “make love” about once a month.

He tries to do a lot of extra favors for his wife like cooking, feeding the pets, washing the clothes, etc. He does all the driving and all the shopping. Because of all these favors, he feels like he should have a “right” to ask for oral sex and not have to beg for it.

But his wife continues to seem irritated that oral sex is the only form of sexual contact he asks for. She gets angry and says “that’s all you want, isn’t it?” or “I would give it to you if you DIDN’T ask for it.”

Both he and his wife are frustrated and trying to resolve the issue.

So what’s going on here?

The guy’s primary mistake is he’s approaching sex with a “tit for tat” attitude. He’s assuming that if he does favors for her, she’ll do favors for him.

This is a common mistake and one that I made myself for several years.

But you’ve got to realize that the favors you do for her around the house have nothing to do with sexual attraction. If anything, they could backfire on you if you do too many. She’ll begin to see you as her man-servant rather than as her sexual man.

Put it this way, if you’re wife doesn’t want to suck your cock, you’re not doing it right.

Never ask for sexual favors. This comes across as needy and is unattractive to women.

Instead, arouse her passions by triggering her sensual imagination. Then when she signals her readiness, give her a command.

Once you tap into that desire, all the other problems will go away.